Welcome rasslin' fans!
Thing are coming along nicely here at the head offices. We will be looking at a mid-December kick off for the inaugural season of the Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate. We have been signing wrestlers like crazy, and hope to update or site within a few days.
In other news, The VGWA...the oldest and most respected body in professional fantasy videogame wrestling...has bestowed some wonderful news upon us! Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate will be replacing the FUCR organization as their flagship promotion! That means that we will be the new torch bearers in this sport, and also the bookers and controllers of the WORLDS HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! This is thee most sought after prize in our sport, and an honor for us! This is a title that has been defended with pride, in every organization that has ever really meant something in this sport...and now it is home...in the FRONTIER ANARCHY GRAPPLING SYNDICATE!
We are in talks with the current champion, King Kong Glory, to set up a schedule of title defenses right here in the rings of Frontier. we should have more news on this development soon!
Also, if you are a wrestler looking to compete in Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate, please send us your info at frontieranarchygrappling@yahoo.com
One more thing to add...if anyone has had any contact with Tex Brickley, or The Millionaire...please have them contact the head offices...they are two hard son of a bitches to get a hold of...
AND...if any of you are looking for the best source for pictures of wrestlers, be sure to check out this site: http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.com/bios/
I think you'll find all you need.
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From the Quill Tipped Pen of Ebeneezer Wheezleton...
It is with a heart both heavy and filled with pride and optimism that I write this letter. Fans, the rumors are true: Fantasy Unlimited Championship Rasslin' will be taking a brief hiatus. Season Four was scheduled to begin January 1, 2009 but it has been indefinitely postponed.
The reasons for this are not secret. There have been many questions regarding the ownership of the league and until our legal team can sort through all the red tape, we are forced to suspend promotions. I can assure you that as soon as the legality of our promotion has been determined, we will once again beging promoting shows and you fans will be the first to find out.
The Video Game Wrestling Association, not wanting to deprive the fans of their World's Champion, have decided to grant Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate the license to promote matches featuring the World's Heavyweight Championship, and I feel that it is a wonderful decision! I have spoken with those in charge of this new league and I can assure you they are astute individuals with keen minds devoted to the art and craft of professional video game wrestling. Don't worry fans, your title is in excellent hands.
To those competing and those behind the curtain of Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate, I wish you nothing but the best! A new day is dawning and the evolution of professional video game wrestling continues...
Bide your time gaijin pigs. Doom will befall you all soon enough!
Hellfire and tarnation! I reckon most of you know me and for those who don't, I aim to make a name for myself right in the Eff-A-Gee-Ess! Buck Trundle's the handle and I'm bound to cause a scandal!
Shine them belts up real nice, boys. I'll be takin' em off yer waists soon enough.
Hey guys, Dan Browning's the name. I'm a big fan from way back, but I've never posted before.
I like the looks of this league! No rules is just my style.
I have a feeling these Frontier boys are going to be surprised by King Kong Glory. That guy's one hell of a champ!
Looking forward to some action!
Well, well, well... somebody throws a party and only four people show up. And one of those guys says he can't stick around!
Is this the Blackjack's party? 'Cause it stinks.
Hell - a party ain't never started until the Cap'n showed up anyway. And here I am, ready to get the job done. Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate? Sounds like a big ol' pile a bulllllshit!
ROCKY! Japan is nothing but the last tapered shit pinched out of China's ass, coiling in submission at my feet. YES! I AM GAIJIN!!!
Knuck Finn's the name, ya lil' Shirley Temples.
Boy howdy! Look at alla these big strong men. I think ol' Stella Sanders hit the jackpot! Any a you boys free Friday night? Hmmm?
This is what Rick Turpin is talking about! This is what Rick Turpin is into! No more buttfuckery and assgrabbing. Let's get some action on! Turpin is the biggest fan of all!
Fuck yeah! Let's get it oooooonnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Mid-December can't come soon enough. Can't you boys start your rasslin' TODAY?!?!
Rick, Sally, Stella, and all the rest of you...buckle your seatbelts, because buttfuckery is taking a backseat to ass-beatery very soon! All the action you'll need is right here in the Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate! We are fast and furiously signing contracts with some of the biggest and baddest head crackers, jaw jackers, and mean ass sum'bitches in the wrestling world...some one call the blood bank and put in an advance order...and while your at it, get the hospital on the phone and have 'em put a couple of beds on standby! IT'S ON!!!
Koschei is claiming he is deathless but this is not true! You will be one of many to fall before the time honored discipline of my ancestral fury! Gone are the days of the white devil and all he tries to grasp at. I will throw your bloated carcass into the abyss and give your women yellow fever!
Baka wa shinanakya naoranai: Only death will cure a fool!
I didn't understand a damn word a that, but I speak a language that everybody can understand. It's called "My fist smashin yer damn teeth out!"
Buck Trundle - I kick asses by the bundle.
I hear a lot of shit about how there will be no buttfuckery, but let's see you all prove it! I want to see some hot action between these men, not the faggotry that FUCR has been giving us since they were the NWA! That bitch with the sweet tits has the right idea. Let's see some fights!
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Hey Rocky - Mekalekahei Mekaheini Ho... ho.. HOLY SHIT! The Cap'n is back in action!
Take ya goddamn fancy ginsu knifes and shove 'em up ya aaassss n' shit, muthafucka!
The deficient muck of your gaijin blood would soil my blade were it to strike your flesh. You are the mud beneath a mongrel dog's feet. Buck...is that not unlike a dog's name? You too will learn your place at the feet of a master like the mutt that you are. As for he whose eyes are bitches: look at your abnormal red hair! You are genetically flawed, your abhorrent hair colors betrays that secret. Obviously a mistake of birth that should have been snuffed out immediately for being lacking in proper DNA. I will purge the world of your kind and restore bloodlines of honor and purity.
Who is this turd? The last thing Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate needs is some foreigner talking trash. They need that just like they need more faggots like Barnaby Studwhistle. Thank God that asshole won't be around in this league.
All this shit just pisses me of more 'n a full outhous. Rocky, you can just go an' piss on an electric fence you got damn, prancin', nylon wearing fruit.
Tell you what. I'm gonna kick yer ass once for bein' a fruit. Then I'ma gonna kick your ass again for besmirchin' the name o one of the greatest pretend fighters ever to be shat out of the great ol' U.S. of A.
Then when yer nice an' soft I'm gonna throw you into Trundle's momma's pen and let her play wit ya till she's tired.
Hell, my momma'll be excited to get a new toy, specially one so shiny and nice as that Rocky fella. Them Japanese fellas always did make a good toy... hell, that's where them little Transformers came from. My boy always did like them toys. Merry Christmas, Momma!
But it ain't gonna be no playtime when this ball gets a'rollin... I'm fixin to make some pain in this here Grapplin Syndicate and it ain't gonna be no game and I don't care none who gets in my way. Colonel Bitchtooth, Rocky Smackablinski, Ka-Nuckulberry Finnleschitz or that Kooshee fella... hell, I'll even slap that little Turpin kid around if'n I see fit. That World's Heavyweight Championship is MINE!
Not quite yet it ain't, nancyboy.
King Kong Glory's a joke. He's a corporate champ and he's got his head so far up the boss' ass, it isn't even funny. He was too much of a pussy to even beat Scissorwolf, so he had Weirdbeard do it for him and then he knocked Weirdbeard out to steal the belt. Never beat the champ - paper champ. Paper Champ! Paper Champ! Put up or shut up, Small Dong Schlory!
Buck Trundle seems like the kind of old man loser my dad would've rooted for, but since he's the only real AMERICAN in this league and he doesn't seem to be a california faggot or paper champ like Ding Dong Snorey, I guess I'll have to root for him. Fuck that Bitcheyes guy and fuck that Chinese guy and that faggot in the pantyhose and mask. Let's get some real AMERICAN grappling going on! The country needs a boost in morale since McCain lost the election!
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Oh, I guess Knuck Finn is pretty cool. My dad says not to trust the Irish, but he seems pretty tough, so I guess it's okay. I bet Knuck Finn could beat that old man Buck Trundle anyway and I know for DAMN SURE that he could beat those foreigners.
Man, Knuck Finn ain't gots shit! This lil' muhfucker Turpin needs to be checkin hisself. You obviously know dick about video game wrestling and for those of us that don't have our heads up our asses, I think that Japanese dude looks bad as shit!
Little Rick
You don't know shit
Even though you think that you slick
But come season start
You just like a fart
Your opinions smell exactly like shit!
ha-ha number one fan become more number one excited for mega jam wrestling here!!! most dishonorable wasabe rocket make big trouble here like in home but super jam american wrestlers stump plow stop him here most certainly!!! okay!!!
Who the fuck is this Rudy Spraymore asshole? I swear to God if one more
[MODERATOR'S NOTES] : This section of comments left by Mr. Rick Turpin were deemed offensive and were removed per Section #1182 of the eBlogger Rules & Agreements.
wouldn't be happening if McCain had been elected!
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
What about me, Rick Slurpin? Muhfucker, I will beat yo ass within an inch of your miserable life and make you cry like the lil bitch that you are!
Rick Slurpin
Grabbed a dick and started jerkin
All his shit about McCain
He just wanna slurp old John's main vein!
There once was a boy named Rick...
Who didn't know shit about dick...
So I took a hammer, and to his skull I slammed her....
And the sight just made everyone sick!
Listen pip-squeek...The sound of the Studwhistle will make you deaf, and the sight of old Barnaby will make you piss your little Rainbow Brite Underoos, that you stole from your little sister! Rick...If I want to get rid of you, all I'd have to do is wipe my ass, because you are a little piece of shit. I hope you get some front row tickets this season, because I'll come down to ringside, pull you over the barrier, and step on your throat until I hear a slight whimpering little gurgle...Don't fuck with the big boys, little man. It could be hazardous to your health!
So now there's TWO noobs trying to act like they're related to me?! The sincerest form of flattery may be imitation, but jumpin guacamole, what gives? You guys know my parents are lawyers, right?
This is exactly why FUCR is where the true Shlotzky belongs. This league looks bodaciously sweet but the fans are creepy version 2.0's!
Til next season...
FUCR RULZ!!!
(this league is cool too though!)
Go KING KONG GLORY!!!
Oh shit, is this some sort of rap battle or somethin? 'Cause the Cap'n be rappin...
Now what you hear is not a test - I'm talkin' bout Rick T
He's a son-of-a-bitch and I think he's racist and he voted for John Mc C
My name is the Bitcheyes, you can call me Cap'n and I'd like to say hello
To the black, the white, the red and the brown - you know the Cap'n loves ALL the hoes!
Buck, Rocky, Barney and Knuck - and even that Koschei guy.
When we all get together - we're gonna make ol' Ricky cry!
Rick Slurpin... ha ha. I like you new kids. You're alright.
Can't wait for this thing to get off the ground! If my body wasn't racked with a variety of injuries, I'd be right in that ring with those guys.
For the REAL news and behind-the-scenes dirt, check out my blog!
Oh what, so I call a black guy a
[COMMENTS DELETED per Section #1182 of the eBlogger Rules & Agreements Charter]
so what? That used to be an accepted term and it's my right to call
[COMMENTS DELETED Section #1182]
and if McCain would've won, then we would't have
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pudding pops and Jell-O and I said "I'm not fuckin' eating any shit that is sold to me by
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U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Stop fucking censoring me!!!
Straight outta O.C.,
Racist little bastard named Rick T.,
but it's you, you little dink, that will be hanging from a big tree,
So you can fuck off,
you little jerk-off,
You like it when the doctor makes you turn your head and cough!
You're in the the closet,
I'll get the last word,
"Nice Glasses", you four eyes little fucking NERD!
So here's the skinny, you're makin' me sick,
You're just a boy,
And I'm a man, with a big 'ol full size dick!
Just ask your momma,
There ain't no drama,
I double teamed her,
ATM!
With my man Obama!
She likes the greasy dick,
She sucked the chicken wing,
she marveled at the size of my fucking cock ring!
So, if you wanna spit and try to talk your stupid shit,
Make sure you know just who the fuck you're fuckin wit'
Word up, you little mark-ass buster...
Hey guys,
I'm not really into the whole rap scene (more of a Creedence man, myself) but I think it's great how you all told that racist kid to go to hell! That kind of attitude has no place here, or anywhere for that matter.
Hey Darnell - I voted Obama too!
Back on topic. Whoo-boy! This is looking really great. I'm impressed with your web design and even more impressed with the wrestlers. Speaking of web design, any Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate fans out there should look me up on Myspace! My son helped me set up a page for myself (though I have to admit, a large portion of it is dedicted to fantasy professional fake video game wrestling!)
Hey, keep up the good work guys. King Kong Glory - I'm betting on you this season, brother! Make me proud!
Thanks.
Hey there, Big Dan. I'll let you check out MY space anytime!
We here at Quality United Entertainment Enforcement Regulation Society applaud the editorial censorship that the moderator has placed upon the obviously horrid words of this Turpin troll. This only begs the question of why said moderator is stopping there? Verbal refuse abounds upon this site and your filthy season has yet to even begin!
Can you smell the new pamphlets we're completely prepared to have made and distributed amongst the masses? Oh yes, we will not be afraid to go there. If you have any doubts as to our resolve once we have taken a cause on, just ask Jenna's New Tire Emporium in Boise Idaho.
Oh wait, you can't. They're out of business and thoroughly humiliated.
Heed this warning you trollops and vagabonds!
What a bunch of bullcrap.
Oh hell no, a friend told me this was also a LADIES wrestling gig. Except for maybe that japanese dude I don't see any tang here. Bullshit, man.
So what you're saying is that tang now has two meanings: it's the drink the astronauts use and it's something that you've only ever fantasized about in your lonely little fag ass life!
I'm going to sing you a tune
About those who get poon
And losers like you
That come in their pants too soon
They talk a big game
While they live with their shame
And their limp ass dicks ain't never had no game!
Hey there, True Believers - are you ready for pulse-pounding excitement in the true Marvel manner? Well look no further than Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate! It's got all the non-stop death defying action, adventure and excitement of the Marvel Comics! I should know, I created them!
Oh shit! Ev'body's all busy talkin shit to each other and rappin n' shit - ain't nobody noticed that The Capn's been makin' it happen since day muthafuckin' ONE n' shit... and let me just say - I intend to continue on my path of destructimication until the muthafuckin' cowwwws come home, ifyaknowwhatImean.
Oh, and Stan The Man... ever heard of a little muthafucker name of The Batmaaaan? heh heh... I thought so. Some dark and stormy night, the Capn'll be bustin down your windowpane and make ya piss your pants like a cowardly and superstitious lot n' shit.
Seems like you lonely, lonely fellows in this fantasy wrestling club have an epidemic of retarded, rapping Rudys. Next thing you'll tell me is that you have a rapping hacidic rabbi (MC Rabbi Rudy Mendelson) with an extra chromosome "rappin' at me" about "dwoppin' it koshuhhh".
They don't call me "Two Douches" because I don't blow so much babysquid that it takes two douches to wash out my funk and because I don't not take no shit from wannabe playas with trisomy 21 (Oh that's right! J2D has himself higher learning!).
So gentlemen, if you ever need this 'tard infestation cleared up give me a call. Me and my specially trained cadre of beautiful geisha/assassins know how to jumpstart a party and clear out the refuse. Hos an' blow my friends. Hos an' blow.
Check it.
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