Gauntlet For The Gold

The End isn't nigh...It's here, baby! The last show of the season...and the big one, daddy...GAUNTLET FOR THE GOLD! Let's get it started in here. Let's get retarded in here!



Kicking it off tonight is Serengeti Betty VS. Knuck Finn. Betty must, by contract, after losing last week, wrestle in a dress! And she is rocking it too! Chanel is very good to here, and Knuck Finn is sucking some serious Vera "Wang"! Fierce on the catwalk and in the ring, Betty is the hotstepper tonight...word 'em up.

Winner: Serengeti Betty



And now, the first matchin the GFTG series...Champ Kurt Murphy takes on Challenger Buck Trundle. This season, these two were almost a quazi-Father & Son. Kurt is a rookie sensation, but old Buck Trundle has ice water in his veins, and grit in his teeth! The old dog showed the pup a few new tricks, and put him outside, showing who the biggest dog of the yard is! Trundle picks up a win, and becomes the New WORLD CHAMPION!

Winner: Buck Trundle



Up next is a match for the Intercontinational Title. Mick "Truck" Drivor challenges La Puta Negra for the belt! La Puta Negra may hold that belt, but Drivor has another type of belt...a steel belting, which he uses to run his opponents down...and he's got 18 of 'em! Wheels that is. He opened it up on La Puta, and like a deer in the head lights, she didn;'t even have a chance!

Winner: Mick "Truck" Drivor



Artimus Kreeme, talent agent for the league, makes his way to the ring, as La Puta is pulling herself together.

"Good show, my dear, good show! Fans...the votes are in and have been tallied! it was a close race for Wrestler of the Year! Our second runner up in the voting was...Kurt Murphy! Congrats Murph! Our first runner up....he's that jive talking, slick walking, Sultan of the swat...the red haired rambler...the riverboat gambler...that dirty son of a bitch...Cap'n Bitcheyes! and the winner of this season's Wrestler Of The Year award...as voted by YOU! The Fans!....is...



La Puta Negra!



Way to go, girl! You took it alll, and said, Y'all can get gritty, but I'm a gonna stay shitty! You stuck it to 'em...rocked & socked them...and wrestled your way into the hearts and minds of fans everywhere! Congratulations La Puta Negra...THE TRUE PEOPLES CHAMPION!



Fans, the next match is now being set up at ringside, and it smells disgusting! On either side of the ring is a bathtub. One...is filled with hot clean bubble water...the other in lined at the bottom with thumbtacks! Then filled with shit! But, not just any shit. we had connected the toilet pipes in all the stalls in the locker room to a big vat in the basement of the building, and have been saving all of our wrestler's shits all season long. Then...we filled the tub!

Henderson Peavy makes his way to ringside! In his squeaky voice he proclaims, "Blackjack has assigned me to be the special referee in this match! Weirdbeard, you had better keep it clean buddy!" As he wagged his finger in 'Beard's face, Weird grabbed it and twisted! As Henderson let out a howl, Weirdbeard jacked him right in the jaw, sending him ass over tea kettle, right into the shit tub! Peavy squealed like a little piggy, as all those tacks pierced his skin, allowing all of that shit to seep right into 20,000 small puncture wounds. Damn...can you say Hepatitis? Nasty!



With that, Bitcheyes and Weirdbeard go at it! The tussle to and fro, leaving no violent stone of aggression unturned! As Weird had Cap'n down and seemed to be getting the best of him, Sally ran over to get involved, and save her man! She knelt down in front of him, and looked up with a devilish grin, as she placed her hands on his hips! Weirdbeard's eyes became aglow as he reached down to fiddle with the drawstring of his trunks! Just then, Sally frowned and shook her head, as she gave Weirbeard a shot right to the nuts! As he grabbed his jewels, the Cap'n knelt down on all fours behind him, and Sally shoved him backwards! Weirdbeard fell right in the tub of hot soapy water! Cap'n Bitcheyes wins! The Cap'n's valets came to ringside and held Weirdbeard down, as he and Sally scrubbed him clean!

Winner: Cap'n Bitcheyes



Up next is our second of three matches in The GAUNTLET FOR THE GOLD! Newly crowned champ, Buck Trundle defends against the wrestler of the year...the people's champ, La Puta Negra! The bell rings and the two combatants throw down! They tear up the ringside area like a tornado, as chairs, tables, and various other debris fly through the air! An old lady at ringside, who at the begining of the season, cheered on the then fan favorite, Trundle, says something to the champ. He laughs at the old lady, then goes stone cold, and slaps her across the face! Oh my god, what an asshole! La Puta nails him from behind, and helps the old lady back in her seat. She reaches into her purse and produces a whiskey bottle! She nips the bottle and hands it to La Puta Negra! La Puta takes a pull, then cracks the bottle over Trundle's head! She takes the jagged end and then slashes just a little "L" shaped cut into the rib area of Buck Trundle. La Puta gives Trundle a running powerslam, and rolls him up! 1,2,3! New Champion again! La Puta Negra!

Winner: La Puta Negra



Buck comes to, and shakes La Puta's hand. He then waves to the fans, and walks to the back with his bloody head held high.



The next match is for the Syndicate Tag Team Titles! Our champs Carl Stonewall & The Bounty Hunter Buck Lawless are taking on...Koschei The Deathless. He doesn't have a partner, but this doesn't stop a man like him! He is all man & a yard wide! But this is a pretty tall order, taking on the most dominant tag team all season by yourself! He's got guts, I'll give him that! Stonewall and Lawless look like a pack of wolves, just waiting to pounce on the lone gunman, Koschei the Deathless. They are almost salivating! The bell rings, and its loggerheads! Koschei holds his own and gives the champs the business, send them repeatedly to the floor! But, over time, the just outnumber & conquer the big man with the bigger heart!It doesn't look good for Koschei...but wait!...The P.A. system fires up with a familiar, hard rocking anthem...AC DC's "Back In Black"! Just then...



The DDT comes running to the ring! Oh my god! He is standing in Koschei's corner, jumping up and down for that hot tag!Stonewall and Lawles both try to trade blows with Koschei, to keep him from his corner, but he has a second wind! He's blocking their blows, and returning each one with one of his own, until Stonewall and The Bounty Hunter hit their backs to the mat! Koschei, in one deperate attempt lunges to his corner...and tags in The DDT! He's a house of fire!As Koschei tosses Carl Stonewall to the floor, The DDT hits The Bounty Hunter Buck Lawless with what he call "THEE DDT"...his patented version of the move! The roll up and the pin! New tag champs!

Winners: Koschei The Deathless & The DDT



And now...the Main event of the season! The finals of the GAUNTLET FOR THE GOLD! It had to come to this...STONEWALL...NEGRA...For the richest prize in the sport...best of friends, best of enemies. The each drive each other to be the best. Carl has been up and down that mountain, and now La Puta Negra, has made it to the top as well. Who will be the king of the mountain? With the ringing of a bell, we are about to find out. As the bell rings, both gladiators just lean back into their respective corners and just smile at each other...but one of those shit eating grin type smiles. At the same time, they walk to the middle of the ring, and shake hands. Carl then slaps La Puta's face. She chuckles and slaps Carl's face with equal ferocity!The two trade two or three slaps back and forth, pausing each time, almost like some sort of violent foreplay to the vulgar display of power we are about to witness. we are at the eye of a wrestling storm which is about to consume us all...and here comes the fiery hail! The two lock horns, and the fight is on! These two leave it all on the mat as they rage in battle for the World Heavyweight Title! At the very end, either wrestler can barely stand! They each go into the ropes, and both clothesline each other! Double clotheslines, and each are out on the mat! The ref looks in on each fighter, and begins to administer the ten count! The first man to his feet wins! 1...2...3...4...they are stirring, ach trying to pull themselves up by the ropes!...5...6...7...8...9......both are almost standing, as Carl reaches out, and grabs La Puta in a waistlock. He spins her up and over for a Carl-Plex, and collapses on top of her limp body! the ref counts the pin...1...2...3! Stonewall has done it! He's The new World Heavyweight Champion! He's the King Of The Mountain! The dressing room clears as the wrestlers hoist him up on their shoulders! Fans rush the ring! It's Pandemonium!

Winner: Carl Stonewall





Thank you all for making this first season of The Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate a memorable one! We love you all! See you next season!