Fans, we are proud to announce our first pre-season show, taking place on Wednesday, December 10th....
FRONTIER JUSTICE!!!
Get your tickets now! This will be the first chance you will have to see all of the superstars of Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate in action! It will be hot and heavy, balls to the walls, and OUT OF CONTROL! Total "anarchy", even!
See you at ringside!
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13 comments:
Hokey smokes! This tingle my jingle and so cool rad!!! Bang actions and fighting for super #1 beginning! Who fighting who and so cheer for the not loser and stuff. I am wonderings what lineups are being fights?
Shinjiku...Thanks for tuning in. We are in the process of drawing up contracts as we speak. So have yourself a big old helping of squid-stuffed turkey and a tall cold Sapporo beer this weekend, and stay tuned. I'm sure you will be hearing comments and boasts from many of our wrestlers soon enough! Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate ICHIBAN!!! Domo Arigato, my friend!
'Bout time! Let's get this stuff crackle-lackin'! I'm ready to get my wrestlin fan on! Y'all need to get on this shit like now!
Turpin is a fag
Stonewall's on the rag
Glory's a drunk ass bitch
Tell your mama "stay away"
I butt fucked her yesterday
Threw her panties out my car to the ditch!
That was ridiculously uncalled for. Let me pose this question to you: If your child was inside the home on the internet instead of somewhere outside the house with strangers, would you want them reading a post like Rudy Spray More's?
This will not do, gentlemen. Most certainly not.
Let's pour the cognac and light the Cubans! The aroma of our collected excitement will cause a groove on the entire condo building, men will be men and the women will reward them for it. Is there any other way to be?
I guess we'll find out on December 10. Is this league full of nancys and prima donnas as was Fantasy Unlimited Championsip Rasslin', or is this truely the place where men are men and wrestle and fight like men?
Either way, you've proved nothing until that California faggot Ping Schlong Snorey defends his paper crown. He disgraces the belt and casts a stain on the whole of professional fake fantasy video game wrestling.
You know, I don't really like snotnosed little punks like this Turpin kid. But he's got a point. Normally ol' Carl is content to sit back and enjoy my retirement, but... this really rankles my cankles.
King Kong Glory... hey, I like the guy. Reminds me of me back when I was a young man. But Glory, like so many American children, is severely lacking in education, especially history. I might've been brash n' cocky, but ol' Carl has never been stupid.
Let me run down the list.
I've held the Hungarian Commonwealth People's Heavyweight Championship of the World 11 times as well as 11 Pagentry of Grace & Style that is Tag Team Wrestling championships, 4 Mid-Atlantic States titles, 4 Hardcore titles, 1 International Swedish Fish championship, 2 Unified Mid-Atlantic Florida States reigns, two International Sattelite Television Championships of the World, a Tully Blanchard Memorial Missouri National Television Championship, an International Co-Existant Heavyweight Championship and 2 2nd Best Championships of the World... I've beaten "The Kingpin" Billy LaLonde, "Widowmaker" Mike Todd and "The Millionaire" Matt Welz. Monte Altazzar, The Scissorwolf, Adam Smasher, King Piggy, Dave Ken, "The Saucebox" Michael P, Mick "Truck" Drivor, and the list goes on and on.
Who's Glory beaten? Scissorwolf, the DDT and Rusty Nailz! Wow! That's quite an impressive resume, kid. You've really made a name for yourself... yeah, you oughtta be real proud.
You young punks make me sick. No respect. No respect. We paved the road for you and all you can do is bust it all up and fill it fulla pot holes. Why do you think you're earning that million dollar paycheck? Why do you think you're flyin' around in a Lear jet? Why do you think you're eatin' steak every night and hobnobbing with Hollywood elite like Bea Arthur and John Saxon? 'cause people like me were drivin' around, packin' eight people into a Pinto to save money! People like Monte Alatazzar, Billy Savage, E.S. Todd, Justin Saine, 3D, Ed Ludicrous ... guys like my brother Frank (god rest his soul). We paved that road so you could sail smoothly down it in your DeLorean.
And how do you show us gratitude? By talkin' smack and refusing to defend your belt unless it's against handpicked ringers. Turpin's right. You've beaten old men and squaws. You've never beaten anybody worth mentioning.
The clock's ticking, Glory. Pretty soon it's gonna be put up or shut up time. I wonder if you've got what it takes?
You said it, big guy! And you can come over and pave my gravel road any time you want.
Stonewall, shut the fuck up! You're goddamn lucky you're retired because if you weren't, I'd FUCK YOUR SHIT RIGHT THE FUCK UP MOTHERFUCKER!
Holy shit, Carl... you're kinda hot. I mean, I never really noticed before but... damn.
Awww shit, I just realized. King Kong Glory doesn't have the attention span to read what I just wrote. Probably can't read either.
I'll make it simple for you, Glory.
You think you're bad, but before there was YOU, there was ME. And I was ten times badder than you when I was sick with the flu. So talk your talk and walk your walk, but don't you ever forget who did it first and who did it best.
Well, in my case, before there was YOU there was King Kong Glory... but if you don't mind waiting out this flareup - Carl, I wanna fuck you so bad...
Well, well well... My comments spur an old fogie to dust off his book of memoirs and remind us all about the good old days when Carl was king. I'm surprized his alheimer's riddled mind can recall even basic functions let alone his enitre life story. Now you've got that scab encrusted whore Sally Finger-Me after you. Maybe you can dust off your wang as well and put that old thing back to work too.
The truth is: great minds think alike and Carl Stonewall, old and pathetic as he may be, is a legend and a legend knows things. His intelligence and knowledge of the sport is WAY better than even my computer-like mind!
What does it add up to? What does it all mean? It means you're a fucking chump, King Kong Glory. You're a chump and a homosexual and a paper champ and most of all a goddamn California faggot! I cant wait until the season starts and you lose that belt to someone more worthy. My ownly fear is that your such a pussy, you'll drop the belt to someone who is equally as pussyish as you are and the title will be even further disgraced than it already is.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Turps Rules!
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