Fans...
Your card for next Wednesday is:
The Whirling Dervish VS La Puta Negra VS Somebody's Dad - greased pole match for a contract to meet the champ
Serengeti Betty VS Buck Trundle - Intercontinational Title Match
Cap'n Bitcheyes VS Rocky Sukiyaki - World Heavyweight Champ-eenship match
Knuck Finn VS The Alabama Sweet Pickle
The Bountyhunter Buck Lawless VS Carl Stonewall - Streetfight...anything goes!
Blackpube The Pirate VS Kurt Murphy
Koschei The Deathless VS Mick "Truck" Drivor
We are doing our best to try and accomodate everyone's challenges...y'all are relentless! Good Luck, and if you have any ideas for any sort of special matches/stipulations...let us know!
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46 comments:
Hey Henderson, you're yapping about people wanting their shot at the tag belts? Who? When I get on the board every week I look to see if we've been challenged, and guess what? There ain't shit on here until it's too late! Then there's there's a whole lotta pissin' and moanin' just like your mama at the OBGYN. What are you saying asshole? "Why doesn't Somebody's Dad have the courtesy of waiting for people to get offa their asses and issue a challenge? How dare he sit around and not do what he came here to do because he shouldn't do anything!"
That's what your jaw flapping sounds like. If any of you wrestlers out there want a shot at the tag belts then get your challenge in. Last I checked I wasn't stopping you from beating me to the post and getting your challenge in. Oh, that's right, it's my fault for being interested and making it a point to get on here in a timely fashion. That's because I'm a man of my word and I show up on time for work, something you crybabies wouldn't know shit about. One of many problems with this younger generation, they just expect everything to be handed to them without any effort whatsoever.
You'd best not show up when I'm around Peavy unless you're prepared to back yourself up.
There's a hell of a lot more wrong with these lily boys around here than that, S.D.
Goddamn pimple picking greasy kids make me wanna puke. They can't hold up against a man of age and distinction, they're too busy chewing on boogers and sticking their thumbs up each other's corn chutes.
I don't grow no corn no more just cuz of that, Hube!
Merle, your dumb ass couldn't grow corn if it was attached to your dick and the Aztecs teamed up with the Mayans to tend to it every day.
These old dudes is right & shit! No crybabies...and no fat chicks either!...Pleasantly plump is cool, though...I'm talking fold over knees/shops with an Amigo cart fat!
Well...there you have it...another fine evening of wrasslin' action lined up for next Wednesday night!
Good Luck, Y'all...and we'll see you at the matches!
Whoa whoa whoa! I made a challenge for the belts, nobody has joined me yet though!
I think that the tags need to be defended if challenged, right? I didn't challenge Truck Drivor, I challenged him and Dad for the Tag belts! If Dad wants to lay his belt down and go for singles that's fine, maybe I can take his place and Truck and I can defend them for an intermittant title, but you can't let a juicy piece of steak sit around untended on the grounds of an active wolf pack! This just don't sit right!
This is for Raul, who is too stupid to be able to keep up and posted his disapproval over at the last thread.
Because, asshole, I got my challenge in against La Pootsta first. It's that simple you moron. The Board may have jumped the gun a bit by booking that match before they saw that I had already challenged La Pootsta but they did as right a thing as you can do in this situation, I didn't even have to bring it up because Blackjack is a professional. I'll say it again for those that seem to be hard of hearing around here: You want a goddamn match then get your ass on the goddamn board and challenge for it. You want a piece of Somebody's Dad then you get your challenge in before I get mine in and am booked. You wanted to face off against someone I beat you to? Tough titties junior, cry me a fucking river with your loser tears.
Who the fuck is Raul?
Raul is obviously another asshole with a worthless opinion round here. What I said goes for you too, Koschei The Illiterate. You want that match up then you beat me to the board next time. I can't believe the amount of lip around here. These kids act like they can just do whatever the hell they want regardless of the rules. Well life doesn't work that way and you might as well start learning that lesson sooner than later. If your parents had been worth a damn, they might've taught you that. Count your blessings that Somebody's Dad isn't YOUR dad, because if I was, we would've only had this conversation ONCE!
Somebody's Dad, I hope you'er not disrespectin' me. Being a dad means a LOT more than talking down to people who are just trying to find a nut, like the proverbial blind squirrel. It means upholding your responsibilities, and your responsibility at the moment is to defend that belt you're wearing! Anything else is just playtime as far as I'm concerned and it's too bad management doesn't see it this way. I was on the fence on this issue, but then you had to go and be a dick.
I show up every week, and even though I haven't won that many matches I'm doing my best. And I have a little daughter to take care of (who by the way is being brought up to be a true Video Game Wrestling warrior, watch out fella's of the future!). So I just want a little due respect in this league! I know La Puta has made everyone all uppity and crazy because she just struts in like some stuck up prom queen demanding this and that, but I hate to see the quality of this league disintegrate because of that. If the tags aren't up for defending then I guess they're not worth fighting for either, eh?
Somebody's Dad, you're teaching a bad lesson to all the young fans out there. The lesson you're giving is to put aside your responsibilities for short term satisfaction. I'm really sad to see a father acting so much like the child... Maybe Pops just wants to get a smell of that Puta-tang???
Somebody's Dad you are an all around chump aren't you? Koschei wanted in on some tag action with young Kurt and you walk away from a belt defense to toss around with some filthy street hag! Tsk tsk tsk...
And Mr. Trundle I look forward to meeting you in the ring next Wednesday. May the best woman win.
Kneel before PUTA!
Awwwwww HELL NO! Somebody's dad be all Viagra'ing up in here, wantin' a piece of the Puta-tang! Well, thas what this golden cooch do to tha men, it make 'em all give up they responsibilities, an get all one track mind on the sweet sweet pussy! An look at how Dad be scramblin' to get a shot at La Puta's belt! Its cool Dad, it's cool, I know you been lookin' forward ta this for a long time. Waitin' in tha wings, rubbin' you pudgy lil egg-shaped chub in the darkness watchin' La Puta. You think I ain't seen you?! If nothin' else, you gon have long years of mental masturbatory baggage after this fight. Lemme just ask you one thing, cuz I know you gonna go there, jus trim those nasty ol' powertool fingernails before you step inna ring, aight?
I gots ta say, when I first came to this league it was just to beat some old man's ass, which I oh-so-handily accomplished (TWO TIMES CARLITA). Now I's just happy to watch you lil' piggies scramble to pick up the scraps I be leavin' in my wake.
An Betty, watch you trip sista! Cuz if you open tha pretty lil mouth one more time, La Puta gon tear off that lil dress, flip you upside down, and carry you round the stadium like a squealin' six pack!
I am so sorry dear I cannot understand a WORD you are saying! Everything out of those cracked urchin lips of yours simply sounds like "cluck cluck cluckity i'll suck yo dick fo a dolla cluck cluck". Get back in your pen with the other hens before I pluck and boil that mite-invested vag of yours and serve it up with dumplings & broth.
I said FUCK YOU BITCH! Shit Betty, you wish you could get your dainty fingers up in here! Back to yo pen, bitch!
Now, back to tha serious matters...
I gots an idea. Is there some sorta rule about how many matches some tired ass fuck can wrestle in one night? Hows about we make this all fair and square an shit and merge some operations? Lemme give you a lil lesson from the cocaine biz, don't sell small when you can sell big. Les see here, way I figure it, me, Dad and that other loser can have our pole dance, then when I beat the shit outta these two, I'll pick Dad up an carry 'im inta tha ring, where me an Koschei go an face Dad and that other other loser for the tags? Too complicated for yo uneducated asses?
Two in one night? Way I sees it, I'm already the tag team champions all by myself anyhow, but maybe Koschei want a piece of that pie? An maybe Dad not be squirmin' outta his 'sponsibilities?
Now I know what you sayin' to yoself Dad: "Gosh! Well that sounds interesting and neato, but how can I, a man of modest means and outlandished tastes, afford two Viagra in one night?! It simply can't be done. It's unheard of, as it were!".
Well tell you what Dad, you agree to step outta tha ring an right back in, with yo gay assed truck buddy at yo side, against me an that bitch ass Koschei, an I gon front you TWO viagra! It's win win fo you! You get ta smell my halo-encompassed stank factory, AND you get to come out ahead one pill! That way, yo wife get a lil treat too, so long as you don save it ta watch La Puta when you think she don know. BITCH!
The Queen takes her leave...
So, I'm going to go to work today and refuse to bag groceries. Instead, I'm going to declare myself head cashier and refuse to do the job I was hired for.
What would I be then? I'd be Somebody's Dad, a fucking scaredy-cat and a faux champion.
Until SD puts up, he needs to shut up. Stop disgracing the titles, stop disgracing your partner and stop disgracing the joke of a title that you wear around your waist.
Blackjack... you should be ashamed of yourself.
Buck Lawless, I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt and then - I'm gonna get my title back! Ripping your fool head off is going to be the perfect distraction to get my mind off losing that battle royale. But when I'm done with you and I've shaken off the rust... TWO TIME, TWO TIME Champion, Carl Stonewall!
Nobody cares, Carlita. I thought you gon retire anyhow, now that you been stripped of crown an genitals? Why you even botherin'?
what the eff dudes? man i was helping out ma get the flee market set up and everything is all matcehed up? Koch i so acept your tag team challenge! Lets make Somebodeys Pa be a somebody and not a homo scardy cat not that him being a homo is wrong or nothing cuz dude you gotta make yourselves feel good however you need to feel good. me i got a gal that makes me feel real good AND shes smokin hot too! sally i love you babe! you da best babe eva! OH and Miss Betty and Miss Punta better watch out cuz sally been showing up at the gym and stuff while im training with my manager and we been teaching her some kickass moves!
An take them damn belts off, fool!
I talkin' ta Carlita.
Well then, if making a challenge a week in advance is completely allowed here, which is proven by Somebody's Dad getting in on Puta and Dervish's match, I BLACKPUBE am issuing a challenge to Somebody's dad for next week. LOSER LEAVES THIS FED FOREVER!!! And if I win, I take his place as Tag Team Champ! And if I lose, ya'll can throw shit at me as I leave the arena for the last time. And the loser can't come back in a mask either.
How bout that, Some very unlucky person's DAD!?! You keep yappin about challenges on the board, HERE'S YOUR FUCKING CHALLENGE!!! Man up or puss out like you have been with the Tag Belts!!
That's what I'm talkin' about Kurt! Now what happens? Looks like the CEO has a Gordian knot in his business! How will he handle it? What is the honorable, professional way to settle this? Hopefully not a Battle Royale!! I gotta admit, though la Poopoo makes a tempting argument, I'm just lookin' for a shot at what's comin' to me!
I'm disappointed to learn that people really are this stupid around here. I'm the only fellow out of this bunch of claptrap involved that made his legal challenge on the legal date of doing so and yet these detention bound hooligans are acting like I'm the one who messed something up. My challenge to La Pootsta was not a week early nor was I late in doing so, no one had challenged La Pootsta after the Battle Royal's results were posted so I did what was in my rights to do so. It's funny how so many of you pukes want a piece of some of the action once it's not available to you, yellow stripes running down your cowardly backs! SuckLube, don't worry about it, you got yours coming. After these matches are over and it's time to issue challenges, I'll beat you to it! As for leaving this fed forever? What kind of threat is that coming from a jerk off like you that just showed up in the first place? Us real wrestlers have already been used to you not being in this fed all along! Don't you worry Lube, your's is coming. But then won't all you other bitch and moaners be mad that I'm not defending the tag gold? The amount of stupidity of you G.E.D. refugees boggles my mind.
man i worked hard for my ged. i studied and everything and its good like a real dipolma so shut your trap asswipe! anarchy means no rules cuz i looked it up in sallys dictonary and everything. it means no rules not you get your own rules! just cuz your a dad dont mean this is your house! you won a belt then defend it dude! wheres your pride at? just cuz you wear glasses and think your all smart dont make you smart and dont make you a real dad like ma's boyfriend try and be all up in my biznaz acting like my dad and trying to whoop me and shit well thats not what we here for! besides i never made no challenge to Pube and i never got no challenge from Pube but i got a challenge from my man Koch and thats what i am gonna wrestle! FUCK YEA! this is the Frontier dudes not some FUCR where all this back room shit goin down and deals be mad eiwth no one knowing and stuff cuz i read the Havershim report so FUCKING MAN UP DAD! as my not dad mas boyfriend lkes to say YOU GOTTAS TO PUT YOUR DICK ON THE TABLE. so whip it out dude...lets see if you got one or not! sally says you dont and im agreeing too...who else with me? who else think Dad is a Mom? no offense to moms cuz moms are awesome! love you ma!
Now now, Dad. You just dry those paternal tears and concentrate on the asswhoopin'. Don let La Puta get in yer head, we're doin'
exactly what that hobo-condom wants us to do, turn against each other outside tha ring! I have faith in the management of this here show, an I'm as sure as shit that it's all agonna work out fine in the end. You jus loosen that belt and take a drag off yer fine cherrywood pipe, and this show'll get on the road right quick.
I hate to say it Dad, but you are acting a bit like Somebody's StepDad. It's obvious you have a taste for dark chocolate, but maybe you should put those frenzies aside, rent some back copies of videos of National Geographic (I hear "Among the Masai" is an especially intriguing episode) and relax a bit until you get a chance to get your fingers on La Puta. In the meantime, maybe it's just best if you submit to the assault me and my main man Kurt are bringing?
Hey Kurt, I'll ask Betty if she'd like to go see The Day the Earth Stood Still on a double date with you and Sally. What do you think? I may be a fiscal conservative, but I'm also very libertarian. I have a "green" room if you know what I mean.
Lil Miss Murphy, how bout we put this no rules stuff to the test? I'm not afraid to double-dip, and if my partner feels so inclined, I'm not opposed to going up in tag team action after my three-way match! Somebody's Dad can go all night, junior. You think you can muster up a hair or two on that pre-teen sack of yours and step in that ring?
AIIGHT! bring it assmunch! and to keep this all even and whatnot im gonna keep my match with Pube too! you do your thang and i'll do mine and we will all meet up and sort it out! we gonna back to back this bitch right up and its gonna be sweeter then that time we got the tard pass and six flags and got to cut to the front of all the lines! hells yes mofo! this is what im talking about! Koch dude we gonna win us some tag belts wensday! ANARCHY RULEZ!!
um and just cuz i got long hair dont make me a girl dude. like just cuz Pube is a pirate dont mean hes a cheater and just cuz Stonewall is like cruuuuaaazy old dont mean he still cant wrestle good. you need to not be so ignorent and respect people more.
All rise!
As your Queen and Champion, I hereby step aside from da Tag match I had so gloriously set up. I's come to tha decision to fully sanction the Tag Championship match, and to allow Kurt Murphy to take my spot up in here against Dad and that other guy for the tag match dis upcominweek. Bein' as such an shit, this here gon be the official Tag Championship fer real, as certified by your Royal Badassnessed, La Puta.
CEO, you now has the permission to take care of the technical bullshit and carry out this biznass.
Keep it real Kurt, baby, and show these uppity fucksplatters where the gold be at!
Yo Queen has spoked.
I was just wondering...are all of you fucking retarded, or what? I know that I can't type for shit...and I admit that. But I can't believe that you all are actually reading this stuff, and you are still this lost! It's in order, people! I know that 40-50 posts are a lot to read through, but it's like reading directions on a box of mac & cheese...it's pretty easy to follow!
step 1...remove head from ass
step 2...clear eyes of any remaining shit, crust, or other debris
Step 3...read words until they make sense. Brain must be heated to 98 degrees F.
Somebody's Dad...I hope you can beat some sense into these fucking goofballs!
El Gato Shitbag...
Shut the fuck up. If you talk anymore, we are going to cut those chapped up crusty lips right of of that dirty cocksucker face of yours.
Your "Championship" is worth about as much as a gold medal from the Special Olympics.
The Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate may be no rules, straight up anarchy to the nth degree, rock and roll beatdown, motherfucker trip!....but just because we don't make rules, doesn't mean that this board doesn't call the shots.
That being said...We like the compromise worked out between y'all. If you are wantin' a tag match, and the champs want to fight...we will sanction it....but...there will be some sort of stipulation or sanction on this match. We will call a special session this evening, and come up with something good...for the fans, who are tired of being jacked around by a bunch of primadonna crybaby hustlers, and huffy-puffy big bad wolves, who could never come close to blowing this house in!
It does warm the soul though...all this vile hatered and vengeful retribution! We were starting to think some of you were a little "Sweet-Winkle"...if ya' know what we mean..
Well done, CEO. You has carried out my wishes to a T. Throw in a raise fo yourself too, baby.
Woah...Woah...Woah...
Now this is Blackjack Billy talkin'! Board of Directors...Take the night off! If I let you do somethin' like that, I'da have to go home a bitchslap my self to sleep!
I'll tell ya' what's gonna go down! I took the challenges from you...I booked the card...That's how it's gonna go...PERIOD!
Now...I will apologize to Kurt Murphy. Kurt, we recieved a communicae' from Blackpube The Pirate, asking us why we hadn't booked his challenge to Kurt Murphy...so, we said, "oh shit", and booked the match...but upon review, Blackpube's statements wer not a challenge at all, but the ramblin's of a drunken sailor, and something about a "man-gina"...so for that, we apologize Kurtis Murphy.
But, sometimes you eat the bar...and sometimes the bar eats you. So, Get in there and fight...and settle it in the ring...and next week, don't fuck up!
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention...
The losers of every match this week, will be straped to the tree of woe, and whipped by some lovely Domanatrix friends of mine from Las Vegas...and I'm not talking some slap & tickle lipstick whores, either. I mean some real, welt your fucking hide, kick you in the nuts, internet type S&M bitches! Sometimes, it takes a little tough love, to get thing straightened out.
Now, I know this may not be a punishment for some of you, but like aI said, "sometimes you eat the bar, sometimes the bar eats you"...
Ahhh, the anarchy is delicious!!! Another sign of the downfall of the decadent Great Satan! ALL HAIL FRONTIER ANARCHY GRAPPLING SYNDICATE! The FIFTH horeseman of your foolishly outlandish holy book!
pinapple express is playing at the dollar theater dude and i hear that shit is funny as hell! and sally and me will totally hit that "green" room with you guys before too! HELLS YEA! and no sweat BJ its all coolie yo and woah i never met a queen before but shes not all old like the one in england! i never would of thought she was a queen cuz shes all nastey looking and stuff but my lil sister watched that Princess Diary movie so i supose royalty looks all sorts of way!
Heh heh... obviously a man of my stature is far too busy to bother readin' all this bullshit. Lemme just say that I hope y'all are bringin the turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, 'cause the Capn's bringing the SQUASH!!!
As an emminent prophet once said on a hilltop:
"Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks".
Peace, bitches.
EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!
Reliable sources report that Blackpube the Pirate is actually bald "down there", much like a Ken doll, and has been using magic markers to hide his shame for almost 17 years. More on this story as it comes in.
Hammer...
OUT!
Next person to post loves to eat cock!
how fitting!
so cuz she posted she loves to eat dick? woah dudes!
So, the Whirling Dervish, Buck Trundle, and Serengetti Betty walk into a bar...
So he says, "RECTUM? It damn near killed him!"...hahahahahahaha!
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