Hell You Sum-bitches! Here's your card for Next Wednesday!
Koschei The Deathless VS. Serengeti Betty
Knuck Finn VS. King Kong Glory -If Glory loses...he's FIRED! If Knuck loses, he must ride the donkey of shame out of the arena!
Mick "Truck" Drivor & Somebody's Dad VS. The Lemonaire & Vandyke Strange - For The Syndicate Teg Team Championship
Cap'n Bitcheyes VS. Kurt Murphy
Carl Stonewall VS. La Puta Negra - San Paulo Street Fight! The ring will be surrounded with broken booze bottles, and to win, you must throw your opponent down into the glass!
Buck Trundle Vs. Rocky Sukiyaki, Intercontinational Champion...for the title!
The Bounty Hunter Buck Lawless VS. The Whirling Dervish
...now, I'm impressed with the string of wins that The Dervs has been putting up...and Buck Lawless...well you started slow, and you took a beating. But the way we see it, EVERYONE takes a beating, once in a while. The other day...when I was at the grocery store, I saw your mother...and I carried her groceries all the way home. You know why?...It was outta respect.
So...this match will determine the man who will receive a shot at the Intercontinational Tile, in 3 weeks at the Free For View Supercard! You can sign that contract, and put it in the bank! The winner's spot will be locked!
Good Luck, ya' glorious bastards!
YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAWWW!!!
President 'Jack
20 comments:
This message is for Kurt Murphy... in regards to the message you left for me on the other post.
I'm actually not seeing anybody right now, and I think it would be totally cool if we hung out after your match. BW3's sounds awesome! Me and my friends go there sometimes... the one at the mall? I used to work there, but then I got a job at Hooters, and the money was good and all, but I was like "No way am I degrading myself like this!" So I tried to get my old job back, but they didn't have any openings, so for a while I worked at the B-Dubs out on Plymouth, but like, fuck that! I'm not driving that far for such a shit job. So I work at Applebee's now (or Crapplebee's, as we call it!) ... but um, yeah, I'd totally like to hang out with you. I hope you win your match and stuff.
Oh, "No way am I degrading myself like this" - what the fuck EVER, Sally! Look at your fucking profile picture, you tramp! And what about the time you gave the manager a blowjob out back by the dumpster? THAT wasn't degrading? Don't act all fucking pure and innocent. Jenny Glorpp was your best friend in high school, and you've been bragging about getting herpes from King Kong Glory for christsakes!
Slut.
Fuck you, Dinkins! Just for that, I'm not covering your shift on Friday!
Fucking jealous little bitch.
What the FUCK happened to this site? To this league?
I guess it's pretty obvious that it's run by a flamin' queer in a cowboy hat! The league consists of washed up old men, skeletons in dresses, pretty boys complimenting each other and ... now it's a FUCKING DATING SITE or some shit!?!?!
FUCK THIS! I'm glad I didn't get a contract! This is pathetic.
Triple H...
With all the female fans in this league, you just gotta treat the whole thing like a game of bowling.
You just stick your fingers in, and roll...
Don't hate, just because you gotta masturbate!
YEEEHAAAAWWW!!!
Something does smell quite fishy.
It's like Cape-muthafuckin'-Cod up in here...
That fishy smell is jus my fingers, I was fingerbanging Stonewall out by the cardboard bailer a couple hours ago.
Really? I figured it was Sally Fingerle
yeah okay sally thats great. okay so ill meet you in the lobby. cool cool. sorry i didnt get back to you sooner but was helping ma get the ford up on blocks in the yard. okay sweet. gonna be great. real great. yeah okay cool. cool. yeah. okay.
La Puta Negra, you're one hot mama! Let's turn 'em off, and turn it up, and turn this room into a sauna, baby! You're kinda like a baby tiger inside a sexy lady, who is coated with the sweetest, hottest salsa...the kind that we have to order online here in Bakersfield! Let old Darnell take you out and I'll let you light the fuse to my Dynamite! Guaranteed to explode, mama! Ay yay yay Carumba!
I'm going to have to side with Harboiled on this one. Is this fucking wrestling or is it dial-a-date? Kurt Murphy, are you so desparate for some pussy that you'll actually stoop to taking home gutter trash such as Sally Finger-me? I guess when the only girls you've ever seen naked are the ones produced with an old Wonder Woman comic and a sheet of tracing paper, you probably don't see the problem with a fake-tittied slut like that. Dude, I heard her asshole is as big around as a tennis ball! I was over on prowrestlingrumorboard.com and they said that she had seventeen abortions and all of them were wrestlers babies - but now that I think of it, those rumors probably aren't true because they said that two of the abortions were from Tito Santana and another was Randy Savage, but they also said that three of them were King Kong Glory's kids and everybody knows that California faggot can't get it up unless he's giving Tex Brickley a belly-to-back suplex!
I guess my advice would be to hit that shit until your fucking dick falls off (and it will) - it's likely to be the only pussy you'll get, unless you share a hotel room with King Kong Glory.
TURPS RULES!
You said it, Turps! When did this league turn from, "I'll fuck your ass up!", into, "I'd like to fuck you up in your ass!". Fuck all of these ring-rat Whores Devours! If we catch any of these wrestlers slipping on the job, because they are to busy getting a little "stink finger"...then we shall show them the true meaning of pain and disipline! Drop those cocks, grab those socks, and get them boots laced...because it's time to WRESTLE!
Rick dude i aint gonna let you talk about sallyt hat way dude. cuz that aint cool man. not cool at all. cuz you know you a fan a you here to read about what happens in the ring and all that but man you got to lay off. heres why. you a fan. righteous and stuff. but you aint a wrestler. what man? you gonna say "im the reason you get a paycheck"? fuck you! you try telling that to the pigs and what you hear? you hear the sound of handcuffs and billclubs bashing in your head and stuff. cuz all you got is talk. and talk dont cost much. but what somebodys dad and koch and wirling dernish and i got is strenth and hard work and the balls to fight and try. you try trying rick! just try trying! you worse then the machine shop teacher mr burtle who never make nothin all year but then gave rick yager a d- on his sweet bong he made out of a muffler cuz it was illegal and stuff but man that bong was some rad shit! so be a bitch and do your thang but remember we the ones got to fight and bleed and bash heads and break noses and hit the gym and practice and work hard to be here and get a oportunitey to wrestle. all you got is to watch it like fucking videodrome asshole.
Hey, you guys ought to check out my blog! Especially if your name is Kurt Murphy!!!!
http://pammydinkins.blogspot.com/
xoxoxoxoxoxox
You fuckin' tell him, Kurt! Nobody talks to me that way, least of all that fucking Rick TURDpin.
So, I'll see you Wednesday then...?
Oh, and Pammy Dinkins - shut the fuck up and stop posting bullshit like that on your blog, you little bitch.
What the fuck is this pussy leauge? Lets get to more head cracking bodies bleeding and less of this ass kissing pussy bleeding bullshit! Is there something in the bylaws of this fed that says it has to be the gayest fantasy wrasslin ever created? Who let all these pansies and fags in here? I know its run by Flapjack Jilly and all but damn! Somebody hit somebody upside the head with somethin made of steel! Or I guess I will have to do it myself! Fuck'N A!!!
Boy, you sure do a lot of bitchin', but you don't do a whole lot of winning, Buck Lawless.
Buck Lawless...All the members of this board (with the exception of the lovely Patty Underwear) are all man and a yard thick, I can assure you...but if you doubt our manliness...just go ask your mother.
We have no control over our fanbase, or who and what their topics of discussion are, away from the ring. But, if you check the action on our program each Wednesday, fans...you will find that it is full of blood, guts, and all around fanny kicking. Buck Lawless is the perfect example of this. Many times, we have seen him beaten beyond bloody recognition...just laying there...wailing for his mother...like a red headed stepchild...
Shit, I'm bout ta stick my thumb up in this bitch. Pammy Fingerfuckle an friends got ta watch their shit with all the crazies up in here. Fuckers be pinchin' dicks off with ass muscles an' shit. An you neva know when a dick gon get pinched! Right Carl? Carlita?
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