Welcome fans, to another exciting night of hot rasslin' action, with the Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate!
For our next match, we see Koschei The Deathless make his way to the ring, with little Janey The Deathlees in tow. He'll be facing Kurt Murphy. Some people say this Kurt Murphy kid is a punk...a dropout...a dumbass...but he's a fighter, that's for sure! He brings the action to the big man as we hear the bell. Koschei, once again seems distracted with the presence of his daughter at ringside. Kurt Murphy is focused though...taking all the ins that he is given, and with a kick to the gut, and a flapjack DDT, he snuffs out Koschei, like the roach that his jean jacket smells like!
Our Main Event of the evening is a contest to decide the Intercontinational Championship. Challenger, Rocky Sukiyaki has called out reigning champion, Cap'n Bitcheyes
!
As we speak, Blackjack Billy is pulling up in his van backstage...let's see if we can get a word from the President...
"I spent the weekend in Chicago, in meetings at Brickley Inc., and after a business lunch of Knuckle sandwiches and MGD's, we have agreed upon contractual terms to have King Kong Glory compete at the Board's discretion...so come hell or high water, King Kong Glory....You will wrestle tonight, and Carl Stonewall WILL be your tag team partner...and if you don't think that I got the stroke to force that hand, well, you just go ahead and deal with the Dealer son, cuz I guarantee ya' that your hand will be all Aces and Eights! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWW!
Now let's get to that thar' ring you sum-bitches! I wanna see somebody get their ass kicked!"
This week kicks off with a match between The Whirling Dervish and Mick "Truck" Drivor. The Dervs was on the forum this week, stating, that after his win at Frontier Justice, he deserves a shot at the big gold buckle...Keep plugging away, W. D., and maybe that'll be in your future, but first, you have to make a few more appearances, tough guy...you also have to go through Mick Drivor! Well, this week, the "Truck" got an 18 point inspection, lube and filter...all in under 10 minutes...compliments of the Whirling Dervish, the Mr. Goodwrench of Wrestling
Winner via pinfall: The Whirling Dervish
Next up...Somebody's Dad, taking on Serengeti Betty. These two traded a few pleasantries on th
e forums this week, and I think this will be a pretty good match. Right from the start, Somebody's Dad, takes the action to Betty. She's got some spunk in her, but not enough to fend off the growing prowess of Somebody's Dad. Finally, Somebody's Dad hits his patented move, The "Tough Love", and scores a pinfall Victory. After the match, Somebody's Dad climbs the turnbuckle, takes his belt, folds it in half, holding both ends, and cracks it, to the cheers of the crowd.
e forums this week, and I think this will be a pretty good match. Right from the start, Somebody's Dad, takes the action to Betty. She's got some spunk in her, but not enough to fend off the growing prowess of Somebody's Dad. Finally, Somebody's Dad hits his patented move, The "Tough Love", and scores a pinfall Victory. After the match, Somebody's Dad climbs the turnbuckle, takes his belt, folds it in half, holding both ends, and cracks it, to the cheers of the crowd.Winner via pinfall @ 5:08: Somebody's Dad
Our next matchup is Buck Trundle VS. Knuck Finn. Knuck Patiently waited in the Ring for Buck to shake all his fans hands, and there seemed to be a few in the crowd tonig
ht. Many ladies, from young to old are holding signs in the crowd for old Buck Trundle, and a few roses too! Embroidered on the back of his satin tour jacket are the words, "Good Sportsmanship". After reluctantly shaking Buck's hand , Knuck and Buck put on a classic wrestling exhibition! A little knuckle dusting, a little hammerlocking, and some piss and vinegar, thrown in as well! At one point, Buck went for the pin, but upon noticing Knuck's foot on the rope, actually stopped the Ref on the two count! He IS a real sportsman!...and a hell of a rassler, beating Knuck Finn with his finishing move, "The Buck Stops Here".
Winner via pinfall @ 9:41: Buck Trundle
ht. Many ladies, from young to old are holding signs in the crowd for old Buck Trundle, and a few roses too! Embroidered on the back of his satin tour jacket are the words, "Good Sportsmanship". After reluctantly shaking Buck's hand , Knuck and Buck put on a classic wrestling exhibition! A little knuckle dusting, a little hammerlocking, and some piss and vinegar, thrown in as well! At one point, Buck went for the pin, but upon noticing Knuck's foot on the rope, actually stopped the Ref on the two count! He IS a real sportsman!...and a hell of a rassler, beating Knuck Finn with his finishing move, "The Buck Stops Here".Winner via pinfall @ 9:41: Buck Trundle
Before the next match, catering services chairman, and wrestling legend, The Chicken makes his way to the ring. "I hope you all enjoyed the skirt steaks and flautas this week! Not too spicy, eh? Good, good...this next tag team match you are about to witness, isn't just any tag team match...this match will be for the new Syndicate Tag Team Championships! That's right!"
Oh my god! The winners of this match will be named new champions! King Kong Glory and Carl Stonewall stomp down to the ring to face Vandyke Strange and The Lemonaire, in what was originally supposed to be a handicap match for King Kong Glory, and is now for the belts!
As they get down to business, Carl and K.K. seem to be working in tandem, but Vandyke Strange and The Lemoinaire seem to be holding their own...it's blow for blow! The Lemonaire takes Carl to the floor as Vandyke and King Kong trade punches in the ring. As Carl goes for a carl-plex, the Lemonaire reverses to the back and shoves Carl into the ringpost! With Carl's momentum pushing him back, The Lemonaire rolls him up with a swan cradle and gets the one-two-three! New Champs! New Champs! As they celebrate in the ring, King Kong Glory walks past a laid out Carl, throws his hands down in disgust, and walks to the back
Winners via pinfall @ 11:04: The Lemonaire & Vandyke Strange, Syndicate Tag Team Champions!
For our next match, we see Koschei The Deathless make his way to the ring, with little Janey The Deathlees in tow. He'll be facing Kurt Murphy. Some people say this Kurt Murphy kid is a punk...a dropout...a dumbass...but he's a fighter, that's for sure! He brings the action to the big man as we hear the bell. Koschei, once again seems distracted with the presence of his daughter at ringside. Kurt Murphy is focused though...taking all the ins that he is given, and with a kick to the gut, and a flapjack DDT, he snuffs out Koschei, like the roach that his jean jacket smells like!Winner via pinfall @ 9:14: Kurt Murphy
The following bout is a one fall match between The Bountyhunter Buck Lawless and Blackpube The Pirate. Not much is know yet about either two of these competitors yet, as they refrain from joining the open forums. We know they are tough...that's a pre-requisite to be a wrestler, here in The Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate, but I don't know...maybe they are afraid. With some of the tough bastartds and bastardesses in this league, I can see how someone may be a little intimidated. Maybe they'll prove us wrong this week. Well, they fought a tough fight, but in the end, it was Blackpube who left Buck Lawless trying to pick that curly hair from the back of his tongue. Will he ever get it?...We'll probably never know...
Winner via pinfall @ 8:59: Blackpube The Pirate
Our Main Event of the evening is a contest to decide the Intercontinational Championship. Challenger, Rocky Sukiyaki has called out reigning champion, Cap'n Bitcheyes
!
As Rocky hits the ring, the loudspeakers start blaring "Turning Japanese", by The Vapors. From the back, 3 lovely ladies, dressed as geishas, lead 3 Capuchin Monkeys, dressed as ninjas, to the ring, followed by a rickshaw, being pulled by two more beautiful geishas...and sitting on top, like a rancid cherry, is The Cap'n, dressed as a Sumo wrestler, sloppily eating a bowl of greasy lo mein noodles! " Domo-mutha'fuckin' Ore-EE-GATO, mutha' fucka's -n-shit!", he proclaims, as he is pulled to the ring! "It's me, the Last Samarai -n-shit!". What a grade-A asshole...The Cap'n sets his bowl of noodles in the corner, and saunters through the ropes. When the bell rang, though, it was as if Bitcheye's nuclear assault on Japenese culture had awakened the inner-Gojira of Sukiyai. They battled pillar-to-post, and Rocky was giving it to the Cap'n good! He raked the back, gouged the bitch- like eyes of Bitcheyes, and used every dirty trick he had! As the Cap'n tried to retreat, Sukiyaki dumped the bowl of lo mein over Bitcheye's head, and the monkeys went nuts! They were clawing, and swarming the nest of red hair on bitcheyes head, trying to lap up the deliciousness...and when the Captain turned back , Rocky hit the "Samauri Delicatessan" for the pin! New Champion, Rocky Sukiyaki! After the pin, he thrashed the backside of Bitcheyes with a kendo stick, until he ran howling past his rickshaw, and up the ramp!
Winner via pinfall @ 8:02: Rocky Sukiyaki, Intercontinational Champion
That's it for this week fans...and be sure to follow our forums for the latest challenges, updates, and action!...and tune in each and every Wednesday for the greatest professional fantasy videogame wrestling today!
68 comments:
Knuck Finn, ya put up one heck of a fight, and Ah 'spect that. I know that you 'spected to win and maybe on a diff'rent day, you mighta. But ya didn't. But I'll shake yer hand an' call ya a man any day a the week.
As ya'll know, I'm a 'spectful man and I don't break no rules. I demand 'spect from mah 'ponnents and Ah'd like ta think I give 'em the 'spect they deserve.
But one thing I can't 'spect is a man who dis'pect the U S of A in such a way as Rocky Sukiyaki does.
Rocky - Ah'd like ta be the first ta congratulate ya on yer vict'ry ovah that bloated windbag Cap'n Bitcheyes. And Ah'd also like to be the first ta issue a challenge fer that there Intercontinational Championship.
Way I see it, I got a win over King Kong Glory and a win over Kuck Finn... 'bout time I put some gold 'round this here waist.
Board a Directors? What y'all think 'bout that? Can we go round next week? Lace boots n' tussle like two men should?
Oh SNAP!!! The Cap'n got his ass HANDED to him and served up for seconds at a dinner he shouldn't have even showed up for in the first place! Fuck yeah m'man! The Japanese rule for shit like this! They got the best cartoons, the best looking bitches, the best robots EVER and the craziest headgear short of that awkward girl what rode the bus back in 6th grade.
Take it to em Rocky!
On your knees
before the Japanese
Slappin' you upside your head
Your ass was toast
And your red hair is gross
Rocky just beat you dead!
Eat a dick Cap'n...eat a dick!
Hey guys,
Wow, what a bunch of great matches. How about that Kurt Murphy kid? I'm predicting big things for that guy in the future.
Too bad about Carl and Glory. I really thought they could be a formidable team, but I guess they just couldn't get along well enough to beat a more seasoned team. Congrats to The Lemonaire and Van Dyke Strange though.
Hey, I can't wait to see what happens next week. I see Buck Trundle has already challenged for the Intercontinational Title. Way to go, Buck! But you're going to have a hard road to hoe going up against a guy like Rocky Sukiyaki.
thanks,
Dan Browning
Well lets just see a couple pieces of crap have the newly formed Tag belts. So I guess I need a partner. Somebody's Dad, I can relate to you. I am pretty sure I have some kids of my own somewhere out on the long road. With all the Truck stop Rats and Lot lizards I have had it's probably inevitable. So what say? If your down for the ride let's head on out for tag team championship city. 18 wheeler fever...
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Haww HONK! HONK!!!
Me: A DWF, 50-ish, sitting in the third row at the wrestling show last night with a glass of Chardonnay in my hand.
You: A SWM who doesn't waste any time winning matches or challenging for titles.
Let's get together for a Pina Colada or a getting caught in the rain. Maybe a little victory celebration next week?
P.S. - that was for Buck Trundle, not that nasty Trick Driver guy.
You couldnt handle this load Stella. I'd give you the ride of your life...
So, we have, so far: Buck Trundle VS. Rocky Sukiyaki for the Intercontinational Title, and An offer to Somebody's Dad to partner up with Mick Truck Drivor for a shot at the Syndicate Tag Team Gold...Dang! Next week is shaping up nice! Let's get a response from Somebody's Dad soon! Come on, Pops...do you have the wrinkled old nuts left to get it done?
Now why on Earth would I wanna team up with Mick? Here I am, coming off of the most erotic victory of my life by giving Serengeti Betty what she really wanted, and this dumb-ass wants to team up with me? Trying to hitch yourself to the back of my station wagon just to make yourself look better around here?
Sure. Why the hell not?
Mick, I'm just giving you a bit of the business, good sir! Let's get out there and get us some of that gold! When we win this thing, the Stroh's are on me!
I also have a feeling that some of you fans are wondering what it's like to be able to get a good, strong grip on Serengeti Betty and let go on your own damn terms and not hers? It's a darn good feeling, let me tell you. And not to belittle the good lady, but fellas? She smelled so darn good (even when I was throwing her around like a rag doll) that I went straight home and apologized to Somebody's Mom because I had had too good a time with that match.
Good one Kurt. You sure "keep it real", as it were.
Good luck Trundle, I think you got what it takes to be a champion. I don't like slopes anyway. I'll be cheering for you, and though Janey is not sure what she thinks about you I tell her you're a big man. I'm sure you can do it next week.
Though I have to say I'm a little sick of losing. But it's like it was back when I was a communications man humpin' back in Da Nang, you lose some, you lose some.
Janey was dissapointed, but she said she'd be fine if she got to meet Serengetti Betty in person. So Betty, let's do it! Next week, you and me.
Janey said she'd make us some dinner before the match.
Oooh! Yes! Serengetti Betty please come! I'll make pasta! It was my mommy's favorite...
I learned in school that pasta is good for you before a match because it's filled with cardboardhydrates!!!
Seems like there's some actual sportsmanship being shown around here and that is simply fantastic! Koschei, I like the cut of your jib, but we have to do something about that name you're going by. Koschei is just too foreign and it's vowel to consonant placement might be a little confusing to the children of this fine country of ours. It's hard enough for a 15 year old kid from Apple's Grove Mississippi to think about what's coming towards them in life without having to struggle to read your name properly. What about Jake? Or how about Bob, Bill, Sam? Something with one syllable would be ideal, or better yet...how about initials? J.P or T.O. or something? Let's try not to give the youth of America a headache from trying to read when they've finally just gotten the hang of the newest XBOX game. Our youth is our future and we should all chip in and do what we can for them.
Welllll shiiiiiiit. Fuck all an' all that. Seems ta me like this blind squirrel can't find a nut in an oak tree. Ol' Knuck knows when to say he's been whooped. I took a knife to the spleen back in a dock riot and I was whooped then, an' Trundle, ya whooped me.
Well, I gotta get ma self respect back, maybe challenge another loser to a match. How's a bout ol' Duke Kong Faded Glory take a round out back a tha barn? What you say Duke? Think you can get yer shit tagether an' tussle with ol' Knuck?
Wowser! Go-Go gadget rasslin'! It's shaping up to be another great Wednesday, next week! So, we have:
Rocky VS. Trundle for the Intercontinational Strap
"Truck" Drivor & The Dad VS. Lemonaire & Strange for the tag straps
Koschei...we weren't sure if you were asking Betty on a dinner date or for a match, so fuck it. After your meal, you can make each other squeal...in the ring...one on one
And ol' Knuckleberry Finnigan Wants King Kong Glory...sure...and to put some icing on that cake...we'll tell ya' what...It's no secret that we do not have a great working relationship with the Kong, so, we're putting his contract on the line...Glory, you can either win or get the fuck down the road. If Glory loses...HE'S FIRED!!!
Keep 'em coming, folks! I'm going out in the yard right now, and fire-proofing the barn...because next week, it may just burn to the ground with all the hot rasslin' action! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!! (That's how you do it, Mick)
Oh, I get it - 'cause he's foreign and shit it's okay if a muthafucker throws some goddamn noodles in my eye and blinds me, turnin' my muthafuckin' monkeys against me n' shit. Oh, we don't wanna sound like we're not PC and shit, so we let it slide.
Whatever. That belt was just weighin' me down n' shit, slowin' The Cap'ns progress as he moves n' grooves his way up the muthafuckin' ladder of success to the BIG GOLD BELT, which I assure you I will be holdin' sooner than later.
Koschei - I was just about to ask ol' Spaghetti Betty if she wants to share a noodle or two with the Cap'n, but you beat me to it. So I guess I'll have to find somebody else to fight. Who's left on the list... let me see.
OH SHIT! Kurt Murphy. E'verybody says "Oh Kurt Murphy, he's the next big thing n' shit, comin' up from the backyard rasslin' to the big leagues" Well Murph, the Capn's gonna squash you like a Smurf!
Cap'n...if Murph is a "smurf", then you must be Gargasmell"! heh-heh...-n-shit...
Mr. Pickle I love your books! I especially like "Who Stole Alligator's Shoe?" about Accusing Alligator who blames everything and everybody for anything that happens. He reminds me a little bit of the Cap'n cuz he lost to Rocky and it was his monkeys' fault cuz they went nuts and jumped in his beard and ate noodles on him and he didn't like it and I wanted him to win but he didn't but I still like him cuz he's funny. I like monkeys, that was silly.
Hey, thanks for fucking letting me down, King Kong Glory. You putz.
Whatever. I got pinned. No skin off ol' Carl's back. I'm still the World's Heavyeweight Champion, I'm still Carl motherfuckin' Stonewall and I'm still on top of Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate. I don't need no tag belts and I don't need no partner.
So what's it gonna be for next week, oh high and mighty Board of Directors? Near as I can figure, there really ain't nobody who's proved themselves to be the #1 contender just yet. Sure, there's been a victory or two here and there. I'm sure there's a few people who'd love a crack at this belt, but honestly - and you know ol' Carl ain't one to duck a challenge - there ain't nobody who deserves it.
Do whatever you wanna. You got somebody to fight me, I'll fight 'em. I'll put the belt on the line if I gotta, 'cause that's what I'm contracted to do. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna let anybody tarnish the good name of the World's Title. You sign a match, you better make it a worthwhile opponent.
It wasn't my muthafuckin' fault, Janey (you adorable little ragamuffin)! Those monkeys was crazy n' shit!
Well shoot. Looks like Mr. Sukiyaki is more of a chicken than a man. I ain't seen him on these boards since Ah made mah challenge. Figures.
Well you just better show up next week, Sukiyaki. Come heck r' high water, Ahm'a gonna take that there belt a yers and put er round mah waist where she belongs. And from there, it ain't gonna be long till Ah go gunnin' for that World's Title too.
But first things first. You best not run off, Sukiyaki. Ah understand yer a'scared. Ah seem ta have that 'fect on people. But yah better show up. Don't go hoppin' on no planes back to yer homeland with mah belt.
Carl Stonewall, he scared a me.
Scared a... I ain't fuckin' scared a you!!! Carl Stonewall ain't scared a nobody!
You want some o' this? You don't need no contract, we can do it in a back alley somewhere! I'll fuckin' fight ya! I ain't scared a nobody!
Alright heavyweight CHUMP, with the accent on heavy, You want a fight? You got it. Since I only collect legit bounties, and there is no real #1 contender, I will whip your ass for free. Call it the Christmas spirit. Carla, no belts, no bullshit, no title on the line, I am just gonna take my pay out of your ass. See theres a lot of bouties to be collected. So this serves notice to all the rest of you. I am coming to collect. In Both blood and eventually in gold. Lawlessness runs this shit!
Carl Stonewall you pissin' you self. Pussy assed bitch got soggy underoos. You stinkin' too Carl Stonewall, be smellin' like chicken gizzards an' Schlitz an' puke. Punk ass old bitch gettin' his matches all fixed. Carl Stonewall you scared a me.
Carl Stonewall, what the flaming fuck was that bullshit all about? Getting pinned by the Pissionaire and letting that California faggot get one up on you by walking out? Call me disillusioned.
Captain Bitcheyes proved himself to be a redhaired bitch by losing to Rocky Chopsaki. What a fucking embarrassment this professional wrestling league has turned out to be. I came here for wrestling, not faggotry, but behold: buttfuckery and cumgurgling by the truckload.
Black Pubes? Seriously? Did I read that correctly, he beat Buck Lawless? And now "Suck" Lawless thinks he gets a shot at Carl's (nearly worthless) title? What the fuck?
Somebody's Dad looks to be the only guy a guy can count on to do a job the way a man should get a job done. Way to show that dyke what's up and give her whatfor including the business. I often wish you were my dad.
Turps Rules - you all suck fat dicks.
Turps got a lil' turtle dick, He gym teacher say he don't wanna shower with the other boys cuz he got such a lil' dick an' no man hairs.
Shit, I bet you've got a bigger dick than Turps does, La Puta Negra!
As far as Fuck Balless goes: Fuck that asshole. He loses to some jerk named Black Pube and thinks he's worthy to step in the ring with ol' Carl? Fuck that asshole. Win a match, bitch. Maybe then I'll fight ya. But if you hadn't already noticed, Carl's been challenged and he's GODDAMN ACCEPTED THE CHALLENGE!
It's you n' me next week, Puta. I don't know if the Board will sanction it or if they'll allow the belt to be on the line. Fuck, I don't even know if they'll give you a contract.
If they don't - I'll meet you next to the dumpster outside the arena. We'll fuckin' throw down and then see who's scared a whom.
NOBODY calls Carl Stonewall chicken!
That right Stonewall McNugget. I got your ass now biotch! Fuck that board, they still not gettin' me my contract like I told 'em too an' thas BULL SHIT. They afraid of me. But now that I gots the old man listenin' to the truth I'm spillin' it's ON! This just be the firs step, I'm like the Rosa Parks of Frontier Anarchy, kickin' yo ass off the bus cuz I can see you veins under your pastey ass skin an' it makin' me all sick.
Soon enough I be havin' more gold around my waist than in my teeth bitches. Make way punk ass hoes cuz La Puta here gon take those belts off y'all an whoop those pasty asses, bitches.
An' shit, if the Board too pussy ta give you a shot at me, I tell you what, we meet behind the Walmart by the dumpsters and I'll stick you with a piece of broken glass jus' ta watch yo ass cry and whimper!
"Why you stab me Puta? Why? I just a lil' man an' all, why you gotta cut my ass?"
That what McNugget gon be sayin. An I'll jus look down on him and piss right in his eye. Cuz he a bitch, he jus' head bitch of the bitch team, undefeated an' whatnot in bitch competitions.
Shit Kong, tell ya what. Since your ass is on the line, I'll throw somethin' in the pot to add a little spice. You lose, you're fired right? Well, if I lose, I'll ride a donkey out, no, I'll carry the donkey outta the arena. What you think about that? I mean, you got nothin' else, so them's the terms I'm givin' ya. Tell ya what, you don't even need ta answer, I'll do it on principle, though I don't think that it's gonna happen.
You know, La Puta Negra reminds me of a character I created back in the 1960s called "The Black Panther"... you see, T'Challa was the ruler of an African Kingdom, but he just didn't get any respect. Well one day he put on a fancy costume and walked right into the Baxter Building and kicked the living shit out of the entire Fantastic Four! How's that for equal rights? I actually created the concept of equal rights, along with every character in the Marvel Universe and maybe a few DC characters too! Of course, back in those days we were called Timely Comics and DC was known as National - but they were always our "distinguished competition".
At any rate, the leaps and bounds made by people like me inspired women like Rosa Parks to do the things they did. We were so ahead of the curve at Marvel in those days, you'd think that the Bullpen was a fantastically futuristic utopia! And it was all because of me.
Stay tuned for more exciting developments, true believers!
Excelsior!
I think Knuck Finn should have to fuck the donkey. Of course, he'll probably do that anyway.
What the fuck is up with Stonewall? I've been waiting for a title defense, but you can't seriously believe that this Puta lady is worth a title shot. She doesn't even have a contract.
Maybe Ricky Turpy is right?
La Puta Negra...simmer down, before you pot of fish boils over. If you want a piece of Carl, and Carl wants a piece of you, then have at it...by all means. It's a streetfight! we are not gonna sanction this as a title match, but we love the thought of someone getting stuck with a broken bottle! So...we are gonna surround the ring with them! The entire floor will be covered with busted liquor bottles, and to win the match? Well...you must throw your opponent out of the ring, down into the glass! A San Paulo Streetfight! Wednesday!
That's what the fuck I'm talkin' about!
Gentlemen, gentlemen!
No need to bicker! I would have loved to have wrestled both of you, at once! But tsk tsk tsk, a gal is going to have to wait for her three way. What a shame it is indeed! I would have loved nothing more than to have spent the night between the two of you - blood spewing from your noses, tears streaming from your eyes, the stench of fear and humilation eminating from those heaving manly chests! Oh I am sighing with delight just thinking about it!
But I suppose I will need to burn off those pasta carbs after dinner, so I may as well wrestle the big ogre all alone. Thighs like these do not stay firm by themsevles! And Janey, remember...
a woman does not win a match with cellutite and scowls but with smiles and diamond cutters!
Trundle-pig, I need accept nor decline anything from you. I am the one with the title and honor. You do not deserve it, for you are unworthy. The board can book any match they want, for I will wrestle anyone who feels they can defeat me in your "squared circle". You do not matter. It is with my superior skills and discipline that I will tear apart all who stand before me. So I am gladly accepting any match that this organization wants to book me in, but while I have the title, I will not lower myself to your ways of begging and challenging. When one is on the top of the mountain, it is for everyone else to plead for his attention. Buck Trundle will be slaughtered as will anyone else.
Which is a fancy way a sayin' yer yella and yer a scared little chicken.
Well there's a rooster in the henhouse now, and Ah aim ta break a few eggs.
You prove the worthlessness of round eyed westerner wrestlers for me. When confronted by an obviously superior foe, one who is clearly having more integrity and courage than you, a weak insult claiming their cowardice is issued forth. Typical, predictable and a sign of the decadence and weakness of this continent.
Least Ah ain't a-scared ta show mah face. What you hidin' under that there mask for? You some kinda theif or criminal? On the run? Or are ya just plumb ugly?
Naaaaah... look what ya done made me do. You riled me up n' got me talkin' trash. That ain't mah way. Ah get mah talkin' done in the ring.
An' come next Wensday, we're gonna sit down and have ourselves a little talk. Just you n' me, Sukiyaki.
Well alright i won my match! Nice work Koch and good luck next time! who i wrestling next? Captian? Okay okay a military man. Cool cool right on. I apprechiate what you do for our country man. We gonna have a good match.
Frontier rocks dudes!
Jesus Christo! Things sure have gotten soft since the days of FUCR.
"Good match! You did great! Good luck! We're all a team! Hope your wrestling event turns out nice and sweet! Good sportsmanship!"
Dios mio, there's more congeniality and... how do you say... bum-sniffing in this league than at the 49th Annual Fair Play Awards held in Cleveland. Hope you have fun shaking hands ladies. Does Dante know about this? He's probably puking blood if he does. Jesus.
You got that right at least, Infierno. Like I'm supposed to worry about getting fired from this fucking group?! Please, shoot me in the face and let me get on with my life. Worthless, inbred little shits and don't matters. No wonder there's no celebrities over here, ain't none of you pissholes got any style to you.
Hey guys,
I have to disagree with the Professor and King Kong Glory. While boasting and bragging is par for the course in this sport, I think a little sportsmanship is good too. Keeps things on the level. I don't think there's anything wrong with shaking someone's hand and telling them they did a good job.
Of course, King Kong Glory is one of my favorites and heaven knows he's made quite a career out of creative interpretations of the rules!
I just love the action either way. Keep it up, guys!
thanks,
Dan Browning
WELL WELL WELL...The pussyhole fuckshit brigade decides it wants to march their little gay pride parade through the middle of our league and talk shit?
1. King Kong Glory....what a fucking loser! I haven't seen someone aim so high yet shoot so low since I saw my grandpa try to take a piss with a blown out prostate! Glory...you suck...and you are a loser. this is a proven documented fact. You haven't won a match since you got here, and thank god...after Wednesday, we can change you out like the bloody fucking tampon you are...just pull you out from whatever snatch you burrowed up into, and flush you down the bowl...you piece of crap.
2. Prof. Infierno? Seriously? I thought that the Minutemen ran your pathetic ass back down to Homo Del Guape when FUCR closed! You are...and will always be...nothing but a bean slurping, smoke blowing, dried out dick mule! What's a "dick mule", you ask? It's like a drug mule, but instead of shoving drugs up your ass for profit...you shove dicks up there! It's too bad that your catholic praying, cross wearing, candle lighting puto of a madre' is so against abortion...there would have been no better fate for you, than to get a drill bit to the brain at birth, and sucked out into obscurity...just like your wrestling career! We are glad you had a career abortion, though. It would have been too challenging of a life for any wrestlers under your guidance to endure. Now go stick a jalepeno up your pee-hole, you hepatitis infected fuck!
And to all the rest of the nay-sayers...The Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate rules the wrestling world. Any problems with that...oh well!
Silly me but I thought the Professor was really the sweet & sour blonde girl who was eaten by the ninja? My my my! This is more exciting than those daytime dramas!
Silly me, but I thought you might come a rap tap tappin' on the Captain's door after my subtle hints, clues and allegations.
Allow me to be a bit forward. My name's Cap'n Bitcheyes - all truth, no lies.
I was just thinkin' maybe you n' me could go for a cruise on my yacht or maybe I could read you some of the poetry I've written or some such shit like that.
I just wanna get to know you n' shit, Betty.
Ay, mi hijo. You know not what you speak of.
A season in FUCR is worth ten in Frontier Anarchy mi amigo. In my one season of FUCR- though I was not victorious thanks to a cadre of Rudy-type rasslers- I have been battle hardened and steeped in the volcanoes of Tenachpitlotli, tempered like the machuitl wood that bonds obsidian to bone as though they were born from the same womb. Though I entered with a certain... ehhhhh... ah! Cocksuredness, I eventually learned the lesson of humility.
In other words, it is yet to be seen whether initiates of Frontier Anarchy will be worthy to scrub the hardened red earth from my boots.
At this point, as you gringos like to say, ya'll is pussies.
Adios putos! Chupa a mi pinga como te gusta!
Honey that smock you are wearing does NOTHING for your figure! Being a Professor is no reason to dress like a Professor! I have this pink shift that would look divine on you...
And Captain, my Captain...
Is it true you have a loft? How Bohemian!
Heh heh... Seein' is bohemian, Betty! Why don't ya come on over some time? I'll make you some chai tea n' shit.
Gracias Betty, but I just wouldn't feel right wearing this league's uniform.
Hey Professor, why don't you take off the dress and step in the ring with the big boys? Don't just sing it, brother - bring it n' shit! Y'all claim to be some kind of rasslin' mastermind... well let's see what you got?
The Capn's all booked up for next week, but I bet there's somebody on that roster that's free to rassle ya!
No no honey! The Professor does not wrestle in this league! Why the Professor did not wrestle in FUCR either! She was a manager who stood ringside and I believe there was some poop throwing and perhaps a failed coup or two. But no, she never actually wrestled. Go easy on the poor gal, Captain, she's obviously quite sick in the head since FUCR ended and her stable performed so poorly.
Jenny Glorpp, what's your fucking problem?
Slamarama III wasn't that long ago - we all remember when you (as Profesor Infierno) were unmasked and revealed to the world. So why are you putting the mask back on?
And why the fuck would you pretend to be a man? Have some fucking pride, you bitch.
Oh fucking SHIT! That's right, Profesor Infierno was revealed not only as a woman, but as a straight up BITCH!
Way to try to put a mask on and pretend to be a dude, Glorpp. I thought you retired anyway. Fuckin' skank.
FUCK! FAAAAAHHHHKKKKKK!!!!
Poor fools.
Well, I'm off to enjoy the fruits of my lucrative stint in FUCR, sipping mai tais on a veranda in Vera Cruz surrounded by beautiful women and stunning vistas. Enjoy Dubuque or wherever the fuck Frontier Anarchy is based out of. Losers.
Oh, and Glory, when you're through with this dos peso operation feel free to visit my hacienda. I know you have a taste for the mulatto women.
Perhaps we can discuss some plans for when this dog and pony show goes belly up.
Adios putos!
Breaker Breaker, I read you loud and clear S.D. and thats a big 10-4! We gonna hitch up like a convoy, and roll right over these Sons A' Bitches! Lets show 'em what a lil' bit of American steel and muscle can do! I love to hear them steel belts hummin' on the asphalt. We're loadin' up and rollin' out of here with championship gold in tow!
Yeah Inspector Glorpp, we're sure you ARE going to enjoy some "fruits", and labor over the sipping of some splooge-tinis...and I'm sure that King Kong Glory can't wait to go "belly up" on all of your little south of the border "dog and pony shows".
Also, for your information, I wouldn't take a shit...let alone run this operation out of Dubuque, Iowa. We are based just out side of De-Troit...Rock City! BANG!!! Come back again...we missed you the first time!
Adios, Puto...
Well since Cauliflower Chump Stoneballs is too much of a pussy to get in the ring with me, I guess I will have to issue an open challenge to any of the bitches in this leauge. Dont worry Carla your time will come. So who's got the guts? Anything goes hardcore streetfight rules. Anybody want their fuckin neck broke? Hey Board if nobody gots the guts you just set up the match of anyone you want their ass kicked. I will collect my fee out of their ass, IN BLOOD!
Infierno? You sir, are a pretender. King Kong Glory is the real deal when it comes to the ladies and the good life, though his fashion sense isn't necessarily in line with the teachings of Ronson. It has been publicly recognized that he also dislikes you very much, and with behavior this dispicable, it's no wonder. You are what is referred to as "Jumping on someone's jock".
As heinous as a soured vintage. Bottled incorrectly and left out in the wrong conditions for everyone to look down upon. Good God man! Get ahold of yourself!
Poor jealous souls. As for myself being a woman, I couldn't disagree more, simply ask Buck Lawless' mother.
And to the Ronsonites:
My friends, if being "hip with the ladies" means travelling back in time to when douchebag was cool, then I, sir, am certainly not "hip with the ladies". If by hip with the ladies you mean that the women swoon at my feet, cut off their toes to fit into shoes I present them, and satisfy my every whim and desire without my having to speak a word, then I am indeed sir, "hip with the ladies". A pretender indeed. Bah! Why am I even addressing you?
You, my poor simple friends are victims of what is often called a ruse. Of course you believed I was Jenny Glorpp, it was exactly what I wanted. All part of my broader objectives, of which I will say no more at this moment, but rather I will sit back and watch as events unfold. Unfortunately my plan is too extravagant, too complex, too... ineffable, for your little minds to comprehend. So yes, believe I am a woman if you must... Perhaps that will soothe you when the coming apocolapse makes its arrival.
Vaya con Dios chumpadres!
"Oh, oh, it was all part of my master plan that you are too dumb to understand!"
Was losing your fucking ass week in and week out part of the plan too?
Profesor Incesto was washed up before he even got started. Remember that failed takeover of FUCR? Remember the joke that was his stable? Those geldings were far from studs, my friend. A lucky break with a National Champion means naught in the eyes of this fan. Remind me again of how you took a superstar tag team called The Neon Knights and turned them into losers! That's a tale for your grandkids 'round the fireplace.
You're either a slit pretending to be a boy in a dress and a skeleton mask or you're a sackless turd pretending to be a white trash whore. Either way you're so fucking lame, you make that California faggot King Kong Glory look like a fucking superstar.
Go back to FUCR or Mexico or whatever fucking shit & piss league you came from. No... better yet, why don't you try to take over Frontier Anarchy the way you took over FUCR? That'll be the quickest way to get rid of you.
Turps rules. You ... aren't even worth a cutdown.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
I'll be damned if I don't actually agree with that Turpin jerk.
Wait, hold on... I just scrolled up a bit and re-read Buck Lawless' comments.
Did you say you'll take your fee out of someone's ass "in blood"? That's fucking NASTY, dude. That's nastier than some of the shit that King Kong Glory wanted me to do (which I refused, by the way)
Oh, and Jenny... lose the fucking mask, bitch. we all know who you are. You never even finished your junior year of high school. The closest you'll eve get to professor was that one teacher you fucked to get a C-... and you only got a C-!!!
sally my names kurt. i wrestling with this league. im new but you know workin hard bustin heads an shit when i can just doin my thang. you gonna be around after the matched next week? maybe we can go to bw3 and gets some wings or something afterward? you know if you not busy or nothing. its cool if not cuz you prob have a boyfriend or whatever so no biggie but i mean if you want and stuff i figor may be cool or whatever cuz your real pretty and all and you dont know me and stuff so its cool. yeah so um...
Oh Buck Lawless...I have a special opponent lined up for you! Hehehe!
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