Next Week Folks:
1) B. Trundle & R. Sukiyaki vs. B. Thunderhammer & S. Dad
2) Captain Bitcheyes vs. Serengeti Betty
3) Koschei the Deathless vs. Mick "Truck" Drivor - for the Intercontinational Championship
4) La Puta Negra vs. Knuck Finn
5) C. Stonewall & B. Lawless vs. Jay Max & Jo Bob of Intensive Enterperises - for the Syndicate Tag Team Championships
and your Main Event... World's Heavyweight Champion WEIRDBEARD defends his title against the rookie sensation KURT MURPHY
After this Wednesday, there are only 2 weeks left in the season! what a ride it's been! Who will be the Wrestler Of The Year?!?
The World Heavyweight Title
The Best Of The Best In Professional Fantasy Videogame Wrestling
The Intercontinational Title
The Flagship Belt Of The Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate
Syndicate Tag Team Championship
The Board Of Directors - Point Totals
About Me
- Black Jack Billy
- Welcome to the world of Professional Fantasy Videogame Wrestling! We are a no holds barred, no rules company, looking to put the "Rasslin" back in wrestling! Some people want to talk shit, some people will get hit, but if you are ready to play with the big boys, then Man Up!...and join the Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate!
27 comments:
Why must my humiliation be extended? My Gods have abandoned me much like my win column of late.
... much like you have abandoned the message boards all season.
Shut up and suck it up, ya little bitch! Here's an idea: how bout instead a hidin' in yer closet, ya dig up a little pride and come to the game once in a while?
Better yet, why don'tcha sit back and let me do all the work next week. Ah'll show ya how it's done.
Hey guys,
You know, I don't like to criticize, but I think Buck Trundle might've went to the Henderson Peavy School of Insensitivity. Buck, I know you're frustrated with your recent losses, but maybe it's time to try a little understanding?
It's true that we haven't seen much of Rocky Sukiyaki this season, but I think it's probably due to some self-esteem issues.
The man wears a mask, so he clearly doesn't feel comfortable in public. The fact that he's never on the message boards supports this and with his rather embarrasing win/loss record... it's all a vicious circle.
Well, enough armchair psychology. I'm really looking forward to this week! Go Kurt Murphy!
thanks,
Dan Browning
Ha ha Dan! Rocky have mega last big laugh before season #1 over gone! You betting ass! Bitcheyes go-go gadget beat down for Betty boom booms! Intestine Enterprises big show! Much bangings for Bucks but whoo-whoo Stonewall ok USA!
Man, Somebody's Thunder is gonna rain down the punishment flipside up Trundle and Sukiyaki's heads. But my man Koschei gonna be who I'm rootin' for. Get that belt Koschei! That title is yours baby, Drivor ain't got shit!
I don't even care anymore. You know, I was so high on life for about an hour when I thought Bitcheyes was actually Janey's biological dad, and then to realize that it wasn't true (mostly because I can barely read). So now I'm stuck wrestling between shifts at Sizzler and Target just to feed Janey's god-damned ponies. I'm this fuckin' close to cooking those god-damned creatures. I don't even care about anything anymore, nothing matters. I believe in nothing. Janey's growing up now and has her own friends and barely has any time for me. The deepest pits of empty blackness, opening their gaping maws with razor tooth and claw to consume my very soul, if I had one. I hate my life. I hate this league I hate everything...
Waaaaaaaiiiiiiillllllllll!!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
Oh hey Im Kochei the Deahtless but all I do is cry all the damn time. Is this Frontier Anarchy Grappling or Frontier Asshole Crybaby Syndicate? Koschie cries, Suckacocki cries everybody just cries all the dam time! Sort of like the ladies be cryin once the Turpz is done with them because the Turpz is all about loving and leaving and when youve had satisfaction this good, you want it all the time. Sorry ladies, Im busy.
Dan Browning can suck a fart out of my ass!
TURPZZZZZ RULEZZZZZZZZ!
Koochie the Dickless, you sound worse than an old waoman. Whah Whah Whaw! I have always believed in euthanasia. Guess I will just put you right out of your misery. Run you down like an old dog! As for you Turdz, Maybe them ladies is cryin cuz they will never get that awful memory out of their brains. Or that disgustin' smell out of their hair. You fuckin' ShitStain! I drive a big rig for speed, I'm always in the lead, and I'll keep Truckin' on...
Oh shit, Koochie, sorry to hear about your bad luck! Maybe if you were a bad muthafucka like the Cap'n, you'd still be gettin' residuals n' shit from all your action figures and t-shirts n' shit that you sold. Oh, but you ain't never won no titles and nobody wants to buy a damn Kocheese action figure!
Oh shit - maybe your figure could come packaged with a crying Janey doll! She cries because she wishes the Cap'n was her daddy!
BLAOOWWW!
How ya like me now (n'shit)?
GO KURT! GO KURT!
Oh wait! He's taking on me this week for the BELT! Well FUCK YOU, LIL' Boy!!
Seriously, even I was super excited about your last win, Kurt. How could you not be?
But now's the time to separate the men from the boys and I'm talking about more than just amount of pubic hair. Kurt, to be quite honest, I don't think you have anymore in the tank. You were all pissed off about losing the kid, losing your wife and realizing you're just a loser. That's why you beat the shit out of that stupid asshole last week. But now that that steam has been blown off, where can you reach for inspiration now?
Well, Good Luck, Kurt. You're gonna need all of it!!
Heh heh... Is this muthafuckin' Bizarro Earth or some shit? The Cap'n finds himself agreein' with the Beard Most Weird - Kurt, from what Sally tells me, you didn't have much in the tank to begin with and once you blew that, you took a while to recharge the ol' batteries n' shit. Meanwhile, the Capn's ridin' high in his silver palace and givin' the dog a bone ALL NIGHT LONG! In fact, they'd call me Big Poppa Pump if some other jerk handn't already copyrighted it n' shit.
Anways, you're still a bitch, Murphy. You stole my title and I stole your woman! Heh heh!
Fuck you Drivor. Maybe if you had bigger dreams than mainlining caffeine capsules with a 45 year old stripper named Kandi in the mens bathroom, you'd understand. But until you wipe that nasty old whore's pussy juice crust outta yer mustache and join the world of humans you can just go fuck yourself. And FUCK YOU Cap'n.
If your what passes for the human race theses days Koochie, I think I will just pass. See you on the roads Dickless! Way down low where the streets are littered, I find my fun with the Freaks and the sinners...
Pussy The Dickless, you gotta suck it up, Daddy! And we ain't talkin' bout the nasty bingo lady pussy juice that you usually slurp on! I'm talkin' bout maning it up, Jack! Waaaahhh mutha'fuckin' WAAAAAHHHHHH! Ya' big Wuss!
Truck is gonna run you down, numb nuts! Like that little kid is Pet Cemetery...but there ain't no coming back on this one, ya' big...dumb...GOOF!
WHOOOOO! DYNAMITE!!!...BANG!
One more week, two more busted heads. Who we wrestlin' this week? Blow Job and Gay Max? Fuck it, bring 'em on! Me that guy... what's his name? Buck Lawler? Lawling? Doesn't matter. Line 'em up and we'll knock the suckers down!
You guys just don't understand.
Shit, Koschei... you need ta man up. Ah done lost mah last two matches! Mah last TWO! Ah got beat fer my World's Title by a lady n' then Ah got beat by a snot-nosed punk 23-5 in a damn I'rn Man Match! ME - Buck Trundle! Ah'm a goddamn livin' legend, son!
But do ya hear me bitchin? Do ya hear me cryin? Hell no! Ah'm on here offerin' ta team up with the biggest sack a crap this league has ta offer! And whay? B'cause a man's got ta pick hisself up by the bootstraps n' keep on keepin' on!
Lemme tell ya somethin', Koschei. Somethin' my grandmama used ta tell me when Ah was a wee lad perched upon her knee. She said "Bucky, control the things ya can control, and let the rest take a flyin' fuck - but if yer gonna go out, go out with yer guns a'blazin!"
You got a right purty daughter n' a whole lot ta fight for, Koschei. Keep her in mind when ya face the Truck this week. Win that damn belt and win it fer Janey! Fer JANEY, Goddammit!
To: President William "Blackjack" LaLonde, et al ...
Congratulations on a fine inaugeral season. As the name of the organization implies, it has been pure "anarchy": especially as of late, with the World's Heavyweight Championship being traded as though it were a proverbial "hot potato".
You've never been one to mince words, Mr. LaLonde and neither have the wrestlers in your organization. Obviously, this is a source of great pride and a trait that we respect. Because of the great respect we have for you, we will not mince words either.
As you are well aware, many professional fantasy wrestling organizations place bids every season to have the World Title defended in their territory. Due to your excellent monetary returns, your honorable sense of fair play and respect for the title and the high caliber of competitors in your promotion, the title has been in your care for the past few months.
However, we are entering "crunch time" as it were. These next two weeks will determine whether or not the World's Heavyweight Championship stays with Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate or if it should return to Fantasy Unlimited Championship Rasslin', or perhaps make its way to another of our fine organizations such as Famicom Organization of Contracted Champions, Continental Unlimited Melee Monopoly, People's Ultimate Smackdown Inc or the Sublime League of International Tusslers.
Please do not interpret this message as a warning; rather, let it serve as a reminder that there are others who wish to obtain what all of you have fought so hard for. You've brought yourselves to the dance ... now it's time to show us your moves.
Thank you,
The Video Game Wrestling Association Board of Directors
Sounds like weirdbeard ruined it for everyone. Good one Weirdbeard!
From the beer-soaked napkin of the Boars Nest...
*sigh* I remember a time upon whence the title was in a league run by me... (hic) then came that wench Jenny Glorpp ... necsht thing I know I'm in a coma and when I come out, Jenny's married to Count Dante n' then she'sh dead - then she'sh not and then she'sh wearing a skeleton mask (hic) ... aaaoohhhghhh... Blackschack, don't loush thish one up, 'cause if you do, I ashure you Wheeshleton will make hish move and get the title back in FUCR!
Ebeezer WHeezleon,
Preshidnt in Trusht
Board of Directors,
Mr. LaLonde is currently overseas negotiating contracts with new talent. In his absence, he instructed me to assure you that he will continue to make you proud and continue to honor the good name of the VGWA and it's World Heavyweight Championship.
Thank you,
Henderson Peavy
Ha ha! Drink viejo, drink.
From the gin drenched napkin of Mr. Mikes Tavern...
Okay Jenny! I suuuuuure will! (hic)
And I'll get my damn company back too, you little BITSCH! If you had'na fucht it all up fer me, I'd schtill have the World title in FUCR!@!! I'll getchoo, Jinny! An your little dog too!
Benny Wheeschletits
Presidoopti-doo!
DAMN! What channel is the SUBLIME LEAGUE of INTERNATIONAL TUSSLERS on! I'd dig the shit out of some S.L.I.T.!!!
Ha ha! A smashing good time. Too bad none of those other leagues have the fabulous J&J brothers of Intensive Industries! Look out, Buck Lawless and Carl Stonewall! Intensive Industries is developing a stimulus package you won't soon forget!
What the fuck? I thought we Wrassled the gay tag team last week. These guys look even more queer than those douchebags!
Mr. Lawless Esq.
Word on the boulevard is that you, sir, are soft like an over-ripe pomegranate! Ha ha!!! Indeed! Mushy and full of seed!
Ha ha, brother! But to whom does said seed belong?
Well brother, research indicates a veritable cornucopia of possibilities ranging from Rocky Sukiyaki to Jenny Glorpp!
Disgusting, brother.
Indeed.
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