Here are the official initial brackets for the first round of the Intercontinational Title Tournament:
Koschei The Deathless VS The Bounty Hunter, Buck Lawless
Serengeti Betty VS The Whirling Dervish
Cap'n Bitcheyes VS Rocky Sukiyaki
Somebody's Dad VS Buck Trundle
Mick "Truck" Drivor VS Blackpube The Pirate
Knuck Finn VS Kurt Murphy
This will leave us with 6 contenders left...Two will randomly draw a bye...The other 4 will be paired off, and compete in LADDER MATCHES!
It's a long way, to the top...if you wanna rock & roll!
The 2 winners of the ladder matches will then face the 2 wrestlers who drew byes in the previous round...But the wrestlers who lose these matches will be forced to ride a donkey out of the arena!
The last two gladiators standing at the end will then enter a steel cage, and battle for the right to call themselves the Intercontinational Champion!
Pack a lunch, kids! This is going to be TOTAL ANARCHY!!!
Koschei The Deathless VS The Bounty Hunter, Buck Lawless
Serengeti Betty VS The Whirling Dervish
Cap'n Bitcheyes VS Rocky Sukiyaki
Somebody's Dad VS Buck Trundle
Mick "Truck" Drivor VS Blackpube The Pirate
Knuck Finn VS Kurt Murphy
This will leave us with 6 contenders left...Two will randomly draw a bye...The other 4 will be paired off, and compete in LADDER MATCHES!
It's a long way, to the top...if you wanna rock & roll!
The 2 winners of the ladder matches will then face the 2 wrestlers who drew byes in the previous round...But the wrestlers who lose these matches will be forced to ride a donkey out of the arena!
The last two gladiators standing at the end will then enter a steel cage, and battle for the right to call themselves the Intercontinational Champion!
Pack a lunch, kids! This is going to be TOTAL ANARCHY!!!
56 comments:
Greetings from the future! I come bearing a warning. A STERN warning!
Your future is devastated by holocost of the nuclear and ecological variety! A group of scientists have been working to determine the exact moment which set off the chain of events that led to this situation. Originally believing it to be the McCain/Palin Administration, we concentrated our efforts on preventing the disaster. Having been successful, we were still left with a devastated world. We have since determined that a victory by Kurt Murphy in the Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate Intercontinational Championship Tournament is the lynchpin which will set off a chain reaction that shall lead to the DEVASTATION of MANKIND!
Heed my words! Do not allow Kurt Murphy to win the Intercontinational Title!
I am from the fuuuuutuuuuurrreeeeeee.....!
Are you fucking high on the goof balls or something? What the fuck is that guy supposed to be? You fucking lunatics should all be taken out behind the woodshed and shot.
We can use my woodshed Hube!
Shut the fuck up Merle.
This reminds me of the time me and good ol Dusty Rhodes were backstage at the Coogan County VFW hall in '82. Laughs were had and the Stroh's were on the house, life was pretty swell all around. Now Dusty's a hell of a guy. Nice, professional and a personality that puts him in any kind of hall of fame you could ever create as an honor to wresting. But anybody that's been drinking with Dusty knows that that fat son of a bitch can be a real mother fucker when somebody pushes that button. I've had more than a few dust ups with Dusty for less reasons than I'd care to admit, but we were always good with each other after every rumble.
So I may be semi-cordial right now Buck Trundle, but come showtime I plan on loosening this tie and kicking 9 types of hell out of that hide of yours. Afterwards maybe we can crack a brew together and maybe we can't, that'll depend on how this match goes. We'll see if you've got some character in you at all.
I think those old guys might want to listen to that future guy... he sounded pretty serious.
Crazy super mecha man ok! Murphy-san terminator much stoppings? Rise up pound much to avoid bad news! Knuck Finn having hopes upon him GO KNUCK FINN!!!
Who the fuck is that Rocky Horror reject? Go trip the Light Fandango somewhere else, you lost-in-the-time-stream faggot.
And can somebody please tell Statler and Waldorff that this is a WRESTLING SITE, not a place for old fogies to bitch about their aches and pains? Go back to the home or the crypt you crawled out of, old men!
TURPS FOREVER!
Yeah! Tell those old duffers to chill, before I knock them into the other side of dementia! This is straight up street fighting, old man...and like the Stones say, "I'm a street fightin' man"!
Have a nice tall glass of Metamucil on the rocks, get under the aphgan, and rock yourselves to sleep, because this is the choice of a new generation...man, I could go for a Pepsi...
Hey Rocky Sukiyaki - I'm gonna make you look like chicken Teriyaki!
That's me, Cap'n B.
The world will find out that the term Bitch does not just describe your eyes but your entire being as well. It will be a soul crushing experience for you as is deserved by your inferior stature.
Pig dog subhuman full of western laziness and apathy, it is better that you learn to cheat for that is the only way you may stand a chance against me!
Win if ya can, lose if ya must... but ALWAYS cheat, muthafucker!
heh heh!
Funny how you don't hear too much from King Kong Glory, huh?
I extended my hand. I gave credit where credit is due. No more.
GLORY! Listen up and listen good... you got less than one week. You better hit that gym instead of hittin' on Jim. You better train. Say yer prayers and take whatever kinda "vitamins" a guy like you takes. 'Cause I ain't goin' easy on you next Wednesday. I'm gonna dispense a little of my own "Frontier Justice", CARL STYLE!
Carlplex
Carldriver
Carlbomb... maybe even off the top rope!
Oh... you're so fuckin' dead, punk. The Stonewall Era begins anew!
I guess it's all up to ol' Knuck again. I remember when I saved the world back in '83. And by saved the world I mean I fucked Krystal Murphy n' got 'er pregnant. Next thing you know, that bitch shits out a screamin', scrawny, waste of a baby. Only good thing about it twer his massive hands, good fightin' hands. That made me proud, but then I wrapped 'im in a garbage bag with some stones and tossed him in a drainage pipe. Who'da thunk it that that shit encrusted dumpster baby would be back to challenge me so many years in the future?
Hey Kurt, you know any Krystal Murphy's?
Dont worry Homomancer, the future is safe.
Is that your tired ass attempting to call me out Stonewall? Well at least you finally made me laugh, I'll give you that much.
Was that a your tired ass attempt at cutting a promo, you California faggot? You certainly didn't get where you are with your golden tongue, did you?
Then again... maybe you did.
Your mother could best answer any questions about the skills of my tongue. Oh sorry, you probably have no idea who your mother is, do you? Did she run out of the trailer when you were young? Grabbing the half a carton of Basic Ultra Menthol Super Lights to never return? Did you and your dad Jethro share a salisbury steak boiled package dinner over and over again, year after year? Crying yourself to sleep was pretty difficult for you, wasn't it lil' Ricky? All embarrassed because the trailer next to your lot could hear you bawling your dirty little face clean through the two sheets of tin that separated your homes. "Shut up over there you fucking pussy! Quit crying, faggot ass pussy baby! Fucking pussy ass faggot pussy fag fucker fuck pussy faggot!"
Sound familiar lil' Ricky? Carrying some emotional baggage around with you? I'm betting you don't know how to really love a woman either. Such hurt in your chest from what bad ol' mama Turpin did to you all those years ago, so sad.
Well nobody around here gives a fuck, you fucking redneck troll. Why don't you and your crushed heart go fuck yourselves over a bag of pork rinds and left over pop-tarts? The thing about dumpster diving is that it should take up all of your time so we shouldn't have to hear from your hairlipped fucking cleft palletted bullshit anymore.
You can't even do that right, can you Ricky?
Damn, you're quite the badass, ain't ya Glory? Pickin' on some fat little hairlipped, cleft-pallated bastard. So... what was tougher, blasting helpless Rick Turpin outta the proverbial waters of the Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate message boards or gnawin' on old DDT's leathery old nutsack, tryin' your best to get him up so he could stick it in the gaping chasm that is your asshole?
You've beaten old men, you've beaten children, you've beaten squaws and judging by the looks of ya (and your obvious overcompensation through constant reminders of your sexual prowess), you spend a lot of time beatin' your meat.
Now it's time to step up and fight a real man. Now it's time to take on somebody yer own size and this time, it ain't gonna be you who's doin' the beatin, son! Ol Carl's gonna take you to the woodshed!
CARLPLEX!
CARLDRIVER!
CARLARMBAR!
CARLBOMB!
CARLBOMB!!
CARLBOMB!!!
1-2-3 It's over. New Champ.
FUCK. YES.
CARLBOMB!
CARLBOMB!!
CARLBOMB!!!
You'll be dropping Carlbombs alright, right in your tights about 30 seconds before you climb in the ring. People will say "Is that what fear smells like?" but they'll be told "No. That's just Jurassic Stonewall's incontinence problem. He suffers from Alzheimer's as well, so it can't rightly be so much fear as he just has no idea where he's at right now."
Being the first over-the-hill has been to get a Pampers endorsement is not a bragging right, old man, it just shines a spotlight on how pathetic you are.
Maybe you can be the mama lil' Ricky Turpin never had? He can suck from the wrinkled teat of failure while you get to finally molest the son you thought you'd never have. That's the closest scenario to a win that you're going to get these days Carl. Sucks to be you.
Oh yeah?
The only time Glory is used to be hearing that is from many womens. Usually it is being said "oooooohhhh yeaaahhhh..." to him.
Are you to be trying to be Glory's bitch, grotesque Stonewall? You are being sad lonely woman are you not? You disgust me and I am wishing many hells of death upon your lonely soul.
Noooo... that's not quite right. It's true that Glory is used to hearing two words from women, but those two words are "that's it?" or "nice try"
That has to be pure speculation on your part because the closest thing to a woman that you've ever gotten to is passing by one on the street. It's ok Sally, just because I've rejected you over and over is no reason to continue this desperate gamble of yours. No amount of wishful thinking or slander is EVER going to talk me into wanting you in any way other than the wanting of you to just go away.
You're better off with someone like Jurassic Stonewall. J.S. won't mind your nasty snatch, hell...he'll probably be so appreciative that anybody has paid his faded libido any attention at all that he'll be spending that social security check he gets every month on wonderful baubles and trinkets for you. You should ask him for an electric toothbrush so you can get deep inside that putrid cave of yours and scrub it out real good for him. J.S.'s tastebuds might not be as attentive as they used to be, he is 87 after all, but that's no excuse to just plain torture his tongue because he's that hard up.
Whoever wins or loses, it matters not. I will pull this entire gaggle of doomed souls down to the murky depths of hell! then, I shall feast upon blood and bone of all!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
My pants are wet! Change me!
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!
I want my bottle!
There's a whole lotta bitchin' and cryin' goin' on right now. That's okay... get it all out of your systems now. When Wednesday rolls around, there's only gonna be one person crying and that's King Kong Glory. 'Cause ol Carl's gonna take his belt and spank him like the bitch that he is.
Keep it up Glory. Maybe that freaky Japanese stalker bitch will give a shit. Nobody else does.
Whitney Lynn Rayne! Get away from Mommy's computer! You are getting drool all over the keyboard again! Bad babby! BAD BABY!
Somebody's Dad - name droppin' don't impress me none. Ah knowed Dusty Rhodes, Ah tossed back a few brews with Harley Race - don't mean nuthin'. What I'm in'erested in is whether 'r not ya got what it takes to get the job done in the ring. I reckon ya don't and ah aim ta prove it this Wednesday as ah make mah way to the top a' the heap and win that there Intercontinashunal Titul. Y'all just wait n' see. It'll happen.
Where's this lil' cocksnorkler Kurt Murphy at? I'm startin' ta think I'm bein' tossed a ringer. Kurt, if'n ya ain't got the balls to step up an' make a statement I'm gonna take it out real hard on ya! Let's see what ya got ya lil' tushwrangler.
Some say that, "Silence Is Golden"...but in this league, remaining silent will take you as far from the gold as you can possibly get.
Let's hear from some of the wrestlers in the silent majority...unless they are thinking, "Oh shit! What did I get myself into?!? I'm gonna get my ass kicked!".
Anyone who hasn't talked even a little shit by now must be a total pussy!
I know that you all aren't used to hearing this sort of talk from an organization's management team...but this ain't your daddy's wrestling show, motherfuckers!
Between the velvet lines, there's a truth that's hard as steel....
I just called Dusty and he said he always thought you were a ninny boy, never did like you and said your wrestling was for shit. You better step up and prove him wrong there Buck. My back may not be what it used to be but I still plan on putting the hurt on you once that bell rings. You're going to go down faster than a queer hustler out on the street being held on his knees by gunpoint by the police and with twice as many tears. I've seen your type in this biz and I ain't sweating it. Keep mouthing off and I'm gonna take the strap to your hide and beat you down in front of all your school friends, youngster. Cry me a fucking river, Junior.
I don't know nothin' bout no "silent majority", but I know that reality is not for everyone... just ask the masses.
The masses of screamin' fans callin my muthafuckin' name!
Oh Captain, my Captain!
It's gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight n' shit. Intercontinational Title, here I come!
Glory, you aren't fooling any body. We all know that the rich, creamy semen of a thousand sailors has found a welcome home in your mouth, throat and gullet. You're a California faggot and a PAPER CHAMP!
You have to talk about your way with the ladies because you can't win a match against a real champ unless it was in a three way dance and the other two guys were drunks and had been attacked by a herd of pitbulls just before the match started. Or if your opponent is a wizened old chump like The DDT.
Because you're not a real champ, you never have been a real champ, and you never will be a real champ. You have a collection of used condoms on your wall from all the male models you've fucked over the years, rather than a collection of championship belts and trophies like Carl Stonewall has.
Paper Champ! In just two short days, the world will see that The Turpinator speaks rightly and King Kong Glory is nothing more than a dimestore champion and a California faggot!
Bunch a nancyboy crybabies and assholes on this site. And then there's that goddamn Turpin punk!
FUCK THIS SHIT!
I still don't know why my contract wasn't accepted. Why the fuck am I not booked? FUCK THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT and FUCK THESE F.A.G.S.!!!!
The hell you talking about Sandcastle? The only guys that are crying around here are the dudes bitching about people crying! I see several guys that are bringing their game, you just ain't one of them! Glory and Stonewall are ready to mix shit up. So's the crotch rocket sushi guy along with Knuck, Bitcheyes and Dad! You might wanna look in your mirror (cracked as it is!) cuz I think your answer is gonna be looking back at you. A bitch is his own worst enemy, any not a bitch will tell you that. Get your shit together man, quit blowing bullshit on the boards!
Hardcastle seems soft
Keeps his vagina in his loft
Locked in a dainty pink chest
Hidden away
That dude is gay
Can't leave his mama's nest!
Man up, Sandcastle! Man up!
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
All of you!
You pissants come off sadder than different colored orphan boys looking for a reason to live on Christmas morning. Well they ain't gonna find one and you chumps ain't going to find one either. Numb nut dumb ass pecker wads!
Duck fucking city homos! Right Hube?
Shut your mouth and go brush your tooth, Merle. Christ. And take a fucking bath! You smell like a turd that's been dipped in puke.
Ha ha! Super angry #1 old guy say #2 angry old guy smell like groovy rock n' roll poo poo! American oldies being make my crackings up in mega ways! Go go gadget wrinkle fury!
This league is a total load of garbage. I come here to check out hot rasslin' and read comments left by WRESTLERS, not buttholes like Ricky Turpy or Rudy Spraysmore... what the hell? Half the wrestlers in this league don't even get on here to talk any crap!
Is FUCR still doing shows? I liked their program better. This is just a fan page, not a wrestling page.
You are recognizing garbage because of the fact that you are garbage as well. This is exactly what I expected from this western league of decadence and softness. Many are chosen but only half have the fire of competition truly in their hearts, and of that half, only I will survive in the long run. This league's would be champions are pathetic and useless, tainted by excesses and undeserving to compete!
I got your competition swinging right here Sukiyaki. Me and you are gonna tussle one of these days and you're gonna find out that some of us are gonna try to cash that check your mouth is writing. I'm guessing you have insufficient funds in your account so that means I'm gonna bounce that check right up along side your head...repeatedly!
I wasn't TALKING ABOUT YOU, Rocky Suckydicky. I was talking about losers like Kyle Murphy, Whirling Pervish, Sally Serengetti and the rest of the LOSERS who don't even bother to get on these boards.
You know, you're not going to make a lot of friends here with a bad attitude like that. I wasn't being mean to you, you DON'T need to be mean to me!
So there!
Well...we can't say that we don't agree with you, just a little bit, Rocky & Pammy. With the first big show coming up in just over 24 hours, you would think that we would have heard from the majority of our roster this week. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
But don't get too down. Things will continue on an upward angle for this organization. Just give us a chance.
And to you wrestlers who have been on this forum all week, strutting your stuff...we hope you like title shots. If you wanna play, you gotta pay, and you have definately satisfied the toll.
See you all tomorrow night.
P.S.- Pammy, If you like FUCR so much...then maybe you should go watch it. Oh that's right...it's cancelled. So, shut that northern slit before we put an italian loafer right up the southern one, whorebag. We don't come down to the docks and slap the dicks out of your mouth while you are trying to work...Turps...tell that bitch. I heard her daddy was a california faggot, anyway...
Now this is a Board of Directors! This is exactly the way I wanted to run things, but Ebeneezer Wheezleton was all about being "fair and impartial"... Frontier Anarchy Grappling Syndicate clearly knows where it's at when it comes to putting primadonna wrestlers and diva superstars in their place. I commend you!
As for me, I'm enjoying my vacation, sipping a Mai Tai down by the pool at the local YMCA. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!
As for FUCR, don't count them out just yet! I'm still on the payroll, which means they're still in business. In fact, they're promoting a Christmas show for the troops overseas later this month!
(But if you can keep it on the DL... let me know if there's any job openings in Frontier. I'll scrub toilets. I'm not a proud man.)
Hey guys,
Boy, things sure have been heating up, haven't they? I haven't been this excited for a main event since the Silver Bullet Band played Cobo back in '83. I bet this show will rock just as hard as Seger did.
I guess the time for talk is done and tomorrow we'll see what happens. I still don't know who to root for in the Glory/Stonewall match. At least I know I'll be happy no matter who wins!
thanks,
Dan Browning
Mr. Lawless! Better watch your buns because I have a pretty good chance of kicking them! Ha ha!
I see that Ding Dong Snorey has yet to fire back with a retort to my calling him a paper champ. Probably because he's either waxing his asshole or he's cowering in the corner of his locker room, frightened at what people will say about him when he gets beaten tomorrow night. I'm betting its both.
Wednesday, will you hurry up and arrive so I don't have to waste any more time on this California faggot? Sometimes even I grow tired of telling it like it is. This fool isn't worth my time anymore. Besides, he's been dying to tie one with his gay buddies at one of their gay parties. Once he drops the belt, he'll have all the time in the world to engage in all sorts of faggotry and butt-pumpery because he won't have to train so much anymore. Not that training will help a sorry ass faggot like him. I can't wait to laugh in your fucking stupid bearded face, you California faggot.
THAT IS ENOUGH, YOUNG MASTER TURPIN!
I have to say that never have I seen a more disturbed child than yourself! Obviously you have some deep trauma that you feel you need to lash out at the world. When Janey's mom died in Iraq she lashed out at me and the world, nothing could calm her down! But she eventually calmed down with therapy and a father's love.
You, my son, obviously have been molested by someone you love. It's painfully clear to everyone that someone touched you somewhere, and you didn't like it did you Ricky? It made you feel dark and sad inside, and you couldn't talk to anyone about it, no not ever. Well Ricky, I can direct you to a nice social worker friend of mine who would be more than happy to help you through this painful struggle, and would punish whoever it was that took your boyish innocence. I love you Ricky, and you are a special, strong, and loving little boy.
Be strong Ricky... Be strong.
Back in my day, you were woken up with the rough, calloused hand of someone that worked for your parent's farm. It was cold then at 4 in the morning and the things those farmhands would do to you in those early hours were not fun at all, let me tell you. But you didn't complain about it! You waited for them to finish, got out of bed and went out to get to work without even wiping the blood offa your bloody lip! You didn't let that make you weak in my day, it was just your normal morning wakeup call! Leave it to you punks to turn it into an excuse to be a pussy little bitch boy.
Gah! You fuckers will never have what it takes. You just go right on and cuddle each other in your warm woobies and mink slippers while you sip from your fucking cocoa with marshmallows on top.
Koshey the Gutless is more like it! Right Hube?
You don't mean that Merle, love is deathless. You boys need a hug. Hube, I can help you to meet my social worker friend also, she got my family and I through some hard, hard times.
The only being deathless is my super mega supreme impatience blockbuster #1!!! Anticipating awesome cool guy results for being all of the getting over with bad dudes! C'mon!!! C'mon!!! Letting big super rad dogs out for us yeah!
Ughhh. I came off the bean farm for this? Kurt Murphy, yer a fuckin' stankyanker and I doubt you even exist. You must be home smellin' your fingers after your own self-performed gyneolocogical exam.
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